rockin' out the unknown and a beautiful bride.

so i was all alone.

the kids were whisked away to a beautiful beach.

my house was unnervingly quiet, but clean, and that is always a plus. and i have to say, there is something about a clean and quiet house that makes me want to wear overly expensive slippers, some kind of silk nightgown and sip tea out of a porcelain cup and saucer.

{i just learned that about myself.}

so, i had a lot of time to think about how nervous i was to photograph my very first wedding. i had exactly one free day and an afternoon to stuff myself with more knowledge, more practice shooting, more fiddling around with my camera. at around midnight, the night before the big day, i set my table with silverware and dishes and practiced shooting in almost zero light.

this is pretty normal for me, as i am a believer that hands-on clicking is the best way to learn and become better. i should also say that i am the slowest learner ever in the history of learners. ha. seriously, i was the student in college that started her own math study group. i took this role extremely seriously after i learned that there was not a math study group set up mid-semester.

i recruited the people that looked as clueless as i was. i had a knack for spotting the poor buggers (they were the ones with red faces and tears threatening to spill over onto their failed algebra exam).

so, in true elle woods form, i even packed baked goods that i bought from farmer jack's market, put on a smile, and invited people to join me in the library. i'm pretty sure i acted as though it was the coolest place to be!

end tangent.

the day of the shoot, my nerves were getting the best of me. the what-ifs were driving me crazy.

what if my camera fell into the pond? broke? what if my memory cards crashed? what if all four of my batteries died from some supernatural alignment of the stars? what if i came down with some super rare disease during the ceremony where my hands melted off making it impossible to take pictures and then it would be all my fault that the bride and groom wouldn't have photographic history of their wedding. they wouldn't be able to show their kids, grandkids,... the list of unfortunates from my made-up illness are endless as you can imagine.

so i decided to turn my phone off, take a bath, a nap, and then read my new obsession that i don't have time to be obsessed with. i started with book three in the mindset that i watched the first two movies already, so starting with the third book would save me lots of time.

well, now i want to go back and start with the first, because

#1. it's some really good writing! that stephanie meyer chick is seriously creative.

#2. i have a crush on edward. *real men sparkle! just sayin.' ha.

and #3. my goal this summer is to RELAX with a couple of good reads that are not related to photography or photoshop!

so when i felt calm and collected, i decided to get ready. so i dressed in all black, which is weird BC i was going to a wedding, but i think black was the right choice. i felt oddly calm. chanting to myself every so often, telling myself that i indeed would rock. it. out. what other choice did i have?!

my internal voice was going crazy that day BC it kept asking me why i was so nervous. it's not like it's my first photo shoot or anything. way far from it.

but...it's a wedding. no second chances. i really and truly just wanted my bride to be happy with her photos and that was where my nerves were coming from. my desire, as a woman who didn't really love her wedding photos and as a trusted photographer to capture those moments that only happen once. it is a big responsibility and one that they entrusted to me and i decided that

i did trust myself because if i didn't, i would have never taken the job!

so...

i found some music to get me in the rockin'-it-out mindset. these are the songs that put a bounce in my step and courage in my heart...

i put make-up on to this.

and this.

and this

did my hair to this a few times.

and finished it off with a little madge and a pre-wedding click of my shutter release in the bathroom.

and this in the car all the way there over and over again.

i was officially shooting a wedding and i'd be lying if i didn't say that i didn't shed an emotional tear in excitement and with the realization that a year ago i had never taken one professional photo. and although, i knew it was still a learning process, i was excited for myself and for jessica and mike, the bride and groom!

i wanted to share my 'nerves' story with the readers of this blog because i get a lot of questions

about photography and i think it's great to see the other side ...what happens behind the camera. many times i have looked at other photographers and their beautiful photos and wondered if they were nervous before they rocked it out or were they were simply confident that they would deliver the goods. this was just my experience:)

getting ready:

the flower girls melted my heart.

jessica's something borrowed and old. grandmother's pin.

and after the vows we had a little fun!

jessica was a beautiful bride and her happiness was contagious. she couldn't contain her happiness, so i often caught her dancing

between frames! it was so much fun!

for the rest of jessica and mike's sneak peek, please visit my photography blog at www.heididarwish.blogspot.com

jessica and mike, thank you so much for inviting me into your lives and for keeping my job & passion so inspiring

and wonderful. i wish you both a fabulous honeymoon and life together. lots of love to you both.

xoxo

h.

okay, so crazy person tangents are over for today, but i have so much more to share. my baby graduated from

pre-school!!! another emotional and fun day. i have lots of pics for the next post and a killer

oatmeal and chocolate scone recipe, and a sex in the city girl's night out complete

with glittered shoes and asymmetrical clothing!

xoxoxoxo

and because i love them to

the moon and back...

a little peyton and beckham love!