Saturday, February 26, 2011

happiness and oprah.

i was nine when i started watching oprah. i remember that because that was when i got my first very own paper route. when the boss at the detroit news called me a few days after my grandpa polleti took me to apply, he called...during oprah. i remember wanting that job so badly, i prayed each night asking god to get it for me. oh, how i wanted that job. BUT, he called during oprah and he needed me THAT day because they just lost the paperboy who used to do it. damn.

i remember wanting to lie to him. i wanted to tell him i was babysitting for my brother that day, but that i would LOVE to begin the route the next day. my mind was racing, but before i could invent a juicy little story that would cement my at-the-time small-butt-on-the-couch 'with oprah'...the paper boss reeled me in with...
"you get to deliver on your own street!" croissant street. so i began my job and missed the rest of oprah and that memory has stayed with me.

in my little group of girlfriends, the ones i grew up with in michigan, i am the oprah freak. like, i love her as so many other millions of people do...and what's not to love? seriously. she's an amazing woman who inspires others to be better...just by being herself. girlfriend's been through a lot, but she worked hard and rose to the top of her game.

i simply love her story. her heart. her compassion. her generosity. her spirit. she's real.

on many a girl's night, i have been known to come to oprah's defense in late-night convos where opinions are welcome and where debates quickly ensue. those are the best nights, aren't they?!

well, most of you know that this is oprah's 25th and last year on air. i hate that. so, like any good friendly 'stalker' i am sure to DVR & watch every single show because i don't want to miss one moment.

and while i'm not really into oprah moving on with her life (selfishly, i want her to stay) this is, to me, oprah's best season yet because it feels like a celebration of life. her life and other's lives. our lives. i feel it and i like it and it makes me excited for the new possibilities ahead for oprah.

the other day, i received a text from a friend who must have just watched an emotional oprah show. the text read...
i just watched oprah. i never do. she just sent 600 people to australia. is she always that crazy? are you going to jump off the ambassador bridge when her show ends?

i laughed and then ran like the wind to play the show.

that text made me think about things that make in a group of old friends or in a family, we all have our roles whether we realize it or not. we don't always know what others really think of us or how they would describe us to someone else but i am sure it happens. the young me would feel insecure about that, but not so much today. this is what i adore about being just become who you were meant to be. still evolving and learning, yes!...but i believe thats the fun part even though it comes with it's highs and lows.

obviously, me loving oprah isn't some monumental piece of intel about myself but it is a piece of me and all of this made me wonder what other things are obvious about myself? you know, what are the things that i give off likes, dislikes. which arguments do i defend most often? am i for the underdog or top dog? how i react to any given situation? would my oldest friends and family know?

in my case, i wear my heart on my sleeve so what you see is pretty much what you get. but on a deeper more complex level we all have our 'stuff' but this is not what i am talking about here tonight. i'm just saying, that we all have a story but what is on the cover of the book called Heidi Darwish. what do people see?

it's interesting to think about what we out out into the world and on a deeper their a direct correlation between what we put out and what we receive? hmmm.

wow, i am so...weird tonight! i think i like it. see what oprah does to us? she makes us think!!


on another note, the other day i was watching oprah and she was talking to goldie hawn about what makes people happy and since i chase happiness around like it's an olympic sport (and this is not to imply that i am always blissfully happy.), i had to watch. i love to hear what makes other people happy because it inspires new ideas for me to be happier and in turn helps me find all the happiness in my own life because sometimes i just plain forget how lucky and blessed we really are.

so this is what i remember from that show:

silence and sex will make you happier! hmmmm. sounds simple, huh?

i also learned that 50% of our own happiness is genetic, while 40% of our happiness can be learned. this really surprised me and it got me thinking that jeff and i hold a lot of power in our hands in regards to the happiness of our children. it's a wonderful gift and daunting at the same time. so here a few pointers...

*so i am going to try to give myself ten minutes of COMPLETE silence each day as it is supposed to boost happiness and change perspective. i think this is harder to do than it seems because we are all so busy, but we so deserve it and so do the people around us.

*having more sex (or buy a puppy!) is another way because it produces a hormone called oxytocin and this causes a calming/warm effect over our bodies. oxytocin is the same hormone that is produced when we see a new baby or puppy.

*and the age old question was asked if children make people happier? the answer was a shock to me.
people responded with yes (which i totally expected), but happiest when the children turn 18 and move out!!!??? i thought that was funny.

wth? i never want my kids to move out ;) so let's ignore that portion of the answer and just go with YES! children make people happier, but i so get what they were saying. kids are are a lot of work when they are young and the big payoff seems to be when they are more independent.

oh yeah, apparently grandparents are buckets of daisies and rainbows when they are with their grandchildren!
i love it. can't wait, but i can. you know what i mean!

end of long ass tangent.

another thing that makes me really happy...
spending time with this little guy!

we had a date!

and when chrissy was here, we found an old train museum that i never knew existed even though i used to pass it daily on my way to work...
and it rocked!




it is run by a group of men that were so proud to show off these treasures. they had rows and rows of vintage lionel trains. it was really cool. most of these older guys used to work with real trains in some capacity or another. i loved hearing their stories and i could see the pride in their faces when they spoke. i think these guys are all best friends...and i think they all hang out and drink old manhattens and talk richly of their past with one another. i am happy these guys have each other because they were lovely and they took care of my boy.

my loves.

i miss his baby-ness soooooooo much. so so so much. where did that baby go?
today, he is all boy and he is learning to ice skate and he calls me...dude and then waits for a response so he can crack up.

when he hears any kind of music, he dances like nobody is watching!

when we enter the house, he jumps up and down, laughing and smiling like he hasn't seen us in year.

he loves to cook and play hockey. he adores with a passion his big sister, daddy , and mama. he laughs when he speaks and he is kind and good and i just can't get enough.

i love this boy and his sister.

lots of love your way. xoxo


Anonymous said...

Another great post, I love reading about the hapiness you find in your children. As mommy to a boy and girl years younger than your kids it makes me sad and happy at the same time to see the way Peyton and Bekham have grown. You're doing a wonderful job!

Looking forward to reading some more of your great recipes.

heather said...

Oh I love Oprah too. I started watching her the summer I was a nanny in Boston. 16 years old. Loved her from the first show. I also watched the Goldie Hawn show. How can she look so amazing and be 60 something? I think the children thing was because children can also bring a lot of stress into marriages and families. I have 6 and I know there is more happiness than stress but there is plenty of hard times along with the beautiful ones. So I have to admit that when I read "happiness and oprah" I was hoping your post was gonna be all about Kelle and her big bad self being on Oprah. How many times do we need to email those producers? Ha!

Your train pictures are amazing. Seriously. Never loved looking at trains before but I think you just turned me into a train fan!


Belinda said...

Aww I love Oprah too!! But who doesn't!! I loved watching the Australian specials here on TV... She made our country look well, exactly how it is, beautiful!!
Enjoy the silence & more sex... or a puppy? Lol...
Love the photos as always! Hope life is gorgeous for you!!

Heidi said...

aw, missy....i completely forgot that i was supposed to post girl's night recipes on this post. i will work on those tonight and get them out in a few days!

heather! amen. i wish i was sharing that news as well!!!!

thank you, bella! puppy thing made me laugh too!

Anonymous said...

I'm that Oprah lover in my group too. I hate that it's her last year. I have 20 episodes saved on my DVR from this season. I kind of don't want to watch them because they are the last ones ever. So I watch one every so often and it feels like SUCH a treat.

Great post... I look forward to the recipes too.

Rebecca said...

Oh I totally get the kids moving out bit. Partially because I look forward to see them grow to be wonderfully independent, equally as much as I look forward to them being able to tie their own shoelaces and partially because my children DO NOT SLEEP! So the thought of sleep, large chunks of sleep, every night, makes me a little giddy. And yes, I too will mourn Oprah's leaving! :)

Molly Melnick said...

I love that you love !

Amie said...

Ah. Your babies make me smile every time.

And you are right-Oprah IS inspiring and real. Can't believe she's leaving...the end of an era.

You were quite the deep-thinker on this post. Love it! Ha ha!

Maria said...

I don't trust anyone who doesn't love Oprah. She's perfection personified in a real human way~such grace & class yet so down to earth &
funny. Love, love, love her!
The pic of a younger Beckham
in his pjs..luscious!

Mrs. McCracken said...

I am a first time commenter... and I love this. Last week we found out that we are expecting our first baby! We both could not be happier... and to see and hear what is ahead is pure magic. I think that children bring all the happiness in the world, and I cannot wait to see this face, hear the cries, and even wake up a BILLION times a night.
This post made me so happy! Thank you for the inspiration... you writing about being a mama has me even more excited for what lies ahead!

Caroline said...

Great post! Oprah is a good egg - like you said, no matter what, she is trying to do good.

It's funny you bring this up as right now I am involved in a workshop type thing where you have to define your ultimate mission. That's big. That's a lot of thinking of things I haven't thought about in a while. What do I want my legacy to be? What is my north star? Good stuff to start a monday with!!

The Manrings said...

ohh happy happy post. i love oprah too and i like the idea to DVR the shows. recently i was thinking of happiness too....i read an article about this book called the Happiness Project. it looks really interesting with lots of ideas just like the ones you listed. i want to read it!! love your kids happy faces.....what a reflection of a good mommy, you! miss you heidi...can we go to the park or get together sometime soon? xoxo

April said...

Oh how I love long ass tangents and the way you wear your heart on your sleeve! I can't wait for my next visit to Florida. (And some warm weather right about now would be nice!) It was in the mid-30's today and the kiddos wanted so badly to get the Slip-n-Slide out. Really? And when I said no to that, they tried really hard for some water balloons! Spring, where are you? We need you badly!


Eva Marie said...

I love me some Oprah and loved the recap of the show you just gave haha totally missed this one and i love Goldie

I once said I want my children spaced out because I can't even think about the possibility of all of them leaving home for school at the same time (that is if they do) - so i feel ya on that - all though likes others said and im sure most mothers want to see your child happy and independent in this world is just bliss and a job well done

but they do grow way to fast I must say :)

MUGGS said...

Okay...I've been reading your blog for a while. Love your pictures and I REALLY wish I lived where you live. I rarely ever post, but I had to let you know, my family and I were on Oprah's show this year. True story. She is SUCH a genuine person. Since being a stay at home mom, I rarely ever miss her show and so to actually meet her and Gayle was a dream come true. After the night around the campfire, we were riding our bikes away from the camp the next morning and she calls out to us...."Hi neighbors. How did you sleep last night, Gretchen?" She actually remembered our names!!! Icing on top of the cake, was after we skyped with her and the show was over, we got a hand written note saying... "thanks for the memories."'s in our safe deposit box. ha ha I am going to miss her show and her book club picks. :(

Kris said...

My son would LOVE the train museum!
Regarding the kids happiness... "it's a wonderful gift and daunting at the same time"
Look at your little guy.....little-er. The CUTEST! You forget that baby chub and then look back at a picture and want it back so bad. I know the feeling. *sigh*

Jen Bacarella said...

Love the Valentine's Day pics of Peyton with that big red skirt and the pearls.

I haven't seen Oprah I swear in 15 years...and I am jealous and stupid for not setting my DVR as all I hear is about all the amazing things that she has been doing.

Miss you is June here yet?

Unknown said...

I love that you wear your heart on your sleeve -- I'm in that bucket too! nothing to hide here... you see it all over my face when I'm happy, sad, worried, stressed, anxious -- you name it & I've got a face for it
love all the pics!

Rachel said...

we have the same kind of museum in our town run by a couple older men! It is such a cool place to visit! Loved your photos!

Kelly Hutcheson said...

OMG! Don't even get me started on Oprah leaving. I'll be wearing black until her last day and will cry like a newborn baby with colic! For days! I might even rent a limo for the funeral of Oprah's show.
The funniest part of this post was a ginormous story about Oprah and your history with her which was hysterical in itself, but then you tangent to the next topic, but can't get Oprah off your brain write "on another note, the other day i was watching oprah " Seriouisly LMAO on that one!!

ANd that picture of Becks on the picnic bench makes my heart ache. Where is that little boy? Oh, I love that picture!! Makes me study and hold onto L&G a little harder today!


Anna Ruth said...

Oh, how he is grown and the love you have for him shines through your words and pictures. The pictures of the trains are just gorgeous.

Theresa said...

I may not always comment, but I always check back. Daily, even. Truly love you and yours! I wish you would post again! I'm needing my Heidi and Fam fix!! :)

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