"I must learn to love the fool in me -the one who feels to much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and get hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool." Theodore Rubin
i love this quote. theodore was a smart guy and i am deducing this thought from just this one quote. he had to have been a tad wise to how life operated and i will assume he was at the very least, thirty years old when he wrote it.
i read it today as i was going through a file i have on my computer simply titled...
Cool Quotes. it's a file on my waaaaay too messy desktop and i add anything to it from hilarious YouTube links to mushy and inspirational quotations that i have picked up from various blogs or internet trips.
i relate to it and i think we all do on some level or another.
i do talk a lot and i can be overly sensitive, if not, dramatic about dew drops on a leaf or the way way the sun is casting a golden ray of sunshine on an overly grown field of wildflowers. i do sometimes laugh too loud and cry too often.
we have all cried at a hallmark commercial or the folgers coffee commercial that is aired during the holidays...big bro comes home and sister is waiting for him, they embrace and have an early morning convo, just the two of them. if you are from florida, you know when a Publix grocery story commercial hits the television during christmas, you are a puddle. at least once.
and when their is a lull in conversation, i'm the girl who feels the need to fill it up. i can not be near another human being for longer than a minute and not say anything. and this includes babies and strangers in an elevator. and what is going on in an elevator? if you're in a small and enclosed space, i find it hard not look at the other person and at least say hi, throw them a warm smile, or compliment their perfume. yet, it is my experience that it is rarely done, and if it is done, it often happens so fast and is over so quickly that my brain hadn't had enough time to even register facial details.
i'm guilty of this as well. for the better part of my years, i spent much time and effort to avoid looking at the person standing 2 feet in front of me and for the most part they, too avoided eye contact at all cost. it's weird.
the other day when i was sitting with a friend and talking about motherhood and how it. can. be. so. damn. draining.
she had had a rough night. she looked like she was on the verge of tears and knowing all too well how that can feel, i told her what i knew to be true, which is...
"you're a great mom. it IS hard, but tomorrow will be better. promise."
after exchanging stories...it became quiet. i was tired and not thinking at all and needing to fill the space, i opened my mouth blew her big birthday surprise.
i did. i felt myself shrinking as i saw the confused look on her face. i wanted to cry, run, disappear. it was...horrifying. she laughed it off because she knew i was ready to throw myself in front of a semi. (sorry again & thank you, L:) it made me think about how i/we interact with people.
i have heard countless times that as we get older, we learn to be more excepting of ourselves, however; i'm thinking that maybe as we mature, we feel free enough to be the person we have always been. perhaps we are an enhanced version of ourselves. the natural evolution through time and experience has made us more wise in the ways of the world. we become more excepting and open to new ideas, thus making us more confident of our own thoughts and ideas. i love this idea. this evolution of ourselves.
seeing a friend laugh too loud, cry when they are hurt, and show themselves to be human...vulnerable and imperfect, these are my favorite kind of people. i adore the people who tell a joke and when they do it's just not funny...i feel endeared to that kind of person and i admire them, so i laugh anyway.
so, the fool in me is out in full force tonight and it's a good feeling.
i hope my babies value what it is to live by taking chances. i hope they laugh too loud and love too hard. my wish for them is to see sooner than later that winning is grand, but not always the most important; to feel from experience that giving is more fulfilling than receiving; to cry for those less fortunate is okay and good; for them to know that they will make mistakes and that even still, everything will be alright and it doesn't take away from who they are as people. i want them to create anything with confidence and without abandon.
as they grow older and learn more about themselves, they will eventually/hopefully evolve into who they are and know how special they are and have always been.
i want them to be who they are and proud of it. this would be my greatest achievement.
things i'm loving lately:
afternoon swims with beckham.
early morning hockey games with my little guy. he acts out ten different game scenarios each time we play. last week, i watched as he threw himself on the ground face first. i ran over to pick him up, but instead he peeled his little face off the of the cement just long enough to tell me that someone checked him and he was now hurt. he needed someone to bring a bed out and carry him 'off the ice.' instead, i rolled him over each time and snapped my fingers three times at which point he would open his eyes and continue playing.
saturday morning soccer games.
food being cooked in front of us always taste better!
officially, we have a student in the house doing homework. can she be this old already?
oh, i get it!
bra shopping. i actually had fun. who knew?
peyton took a field trip to an organic fruit farm and she proudly brought them home and served them for dessert. "i picked these, mommy. aren't they cute and little!"
his sweet, but dirty feet.
and the way he loves his mama.
"i love you all the way to the moon and back and then to north carolina too."
(not sure where he learned about north carolina, but i melted instantly.)
warm weather cooking!
tomatoes on my sill getting even better.
having a pet or two... it's new to us, but we love it so far.
and finally, peyton asking to make a photo of her PURPLE. beckham too.
friends of ours were shooting a local tv commercial for their pest control (cat's eye) service and asked us to be a part of it. jeff played many roles and i think he's hoping for a golden globe nod, but it was the kids who had the most fun...
and i've been cooking again and my kids won't eat anything these days. so, i thought i would come up with something that may work since my kids LOVE bacon. we don't eat it often, but it was buy 1 get 1 at the market, so i decided to try making something i wanted the kids to eat by adding to bacon to the recipe.
Chicken and Pasta with Peas and Bacon
i threw this together quickly but it was very good.
you will need:
a pound of chicken breast
8 slices bacon, crisped in a pan and then chopped up.
a bag of defrosted, frozen peas
extra virgin olive oil
garlic salt (i didn't have fresh)
a pound of cooked linguini cooked in a boiling pot of salted water
shredded parm cheese (1/4 cup)
juice from half lemon
first cook bacon in a fry pan. when done, place cooked bacon on a paper towel lined plate to drain the fat. chop the bacon up and set aside. use some of the fat from the bacon (about one tablespoon and a drizzle of olive oil) season the chicken with garlic salt and pepper and place chicken in the skillet and cook about 5 minutes on each side or until cooked through. (do not overcook. i do it all the time and it ruins everything:)
remove cooked chicken from skillet and set aside. add peas to skillet (if needed add a half tablespoon EVOO to pan) and warm them up. finally, add a tablespoon of butter to pan to melt and add drained linguini, chopped chicken, bacon, cheese to skillet and toss until noodles are evenly coated. salt and pepper again.
finally, at the end add the lemon juice. it tastes so fresh against the heaviness of the bacon.
italian parsley never hurt anyone, so feel free to add it if you have it.
this is not a diet food, but it's also not as heavy as it could be. there is no cream and only small amounts of fat to sautee the meats.
so, i loved it and jeff love, but the kids simply picked out the pieces of bacon and ate those. of course, i didn't let them get away with that AND i laid on the pressure..."ya, know- mommy made this pasta with bacon in it just for you." didn't work as well as i thought, but at least i have a new recipe in my arsenal. enjoy.
and finally, photos from a few readers who threw themselves out there and took a photo that inspired them...
thank you, heather boissonnealt. what a sweet boy!
sarah sent this one in of her daughter that was taken during the soft and golden time of day. love the mood of it.
daniele VW got down low and didn't use a flash this time. i love what was captured!
i have more to share and i will soon.
thanks for reading what i had to share and noticing how light can and does make a big difference in your photos!
happy weekend, xoxoxo