Thursday, May 13, 2010

two little monkeys & a very mean mama.

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{look what i found jumping on the bed when they were supposed to be brushing their teeth?}

okay, the jig is up. i am sensitive. i'm sure pretty sure that may shine through here on this little ole' blog, because seriously, i am. it's okay. i'm good with it. i like it. i really, really do. i often wonder that if i weren't such a sensitive-minded person, would i love the same as i do? genuinely care about things as much? i love thinking about things like this.

do you know the personality tests some employers require you take before they can hire you? the ones that ask questions kind of like these two:

what makes you happiest?
please choose one
1. petting a dog.
2. eating chocolate, and please specify milk or dark?
3. sleeping in and watching shirley temple movies all saturday afternoon.

or even more bizarre,

my own success and happiness are more important than the happiness and success of others.
please check: accurate or very accurate

okay, the first question is a gimmie and it's a trick because of course, eating dark chocolate in bed while watching shirley temple are the correct answer(s), not to mention it will get you hired at any future jobs i may be hiring for in the future. lol.
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however, what's up with the second question?! you can bet your last dollar,donald trump wouldn't hire someone that would choose accurate. i bet he would want you to say very accurate. so in this made up scenario, one is kind of forced to look a tad selfish in order to not look like your not focused and driven. i've confused myself.

on serious note, the test i took was for a bar tending job at a seafood restaurant. was it really important to take that test? if i became stressed, i would have indulged in a cocktail versus doing something more aggressive, like offing my frenemies with a big crab claw and a few oyster shells. ha.

regardless, i completed the test and when the handsome manager came back to tell me the good news, "great. you did a great job! you're hired!," i remember sighing relief because,

1. i really needed the money, and
2. whew, i'm a good person. i must not be a crazy person, that test just proved it! ha.

since we're on the subject (and i'm sure my husband is screaming at his computer screen trying to confirm this tidbit of info), i am also emotional, perceptive, friendly, indecisive, loyal, realistic, sincere, confident, truthful, happy, outgoing, accepting... the list goes on and on.

what a self-centered post.
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these are the things that make us who we are-along with nature and nurture and all that jazz. it's what we are made of and what renders us special and unique to anyone else. as i become, should i say...'more mature,' i have learned to be accepting of every single one of my traits. dude, i'm not fighting it. i'm tired;)

irrational, insecure, bitchy, sensitive-in-a-bad-way, careful, unfocused, unrealistic, decisive, quiet at times.
who me? yeah me.

the reason i am rambling tonight- my daughter said i was the,

"meanest mommy ever. you are mean to childrens and that's not what mommies do."
(huge sobs and bigger tears falling down her cheeks.)

apparently, i should add mean to my list. bummer. certainly, though, mean can not be possible. i passed that test. the one that said i was perfectly normal and good with people...lol!

for once, i didn't try to win back her affections. i'm sure i appeared hurt, but my response was simple...

"that's okay. you don't have to love me. i still love you and i want you to get rest for tomorrow, so please say goodnight and close your eyes." oddly, i was firm. doing what i thought was best.

i did feel mean though.

so not fair, but such is life...or parenthood.

more sobbing while telling me how much she loves me... daddy too.

and that's what does it. a simple, 'i do love you, mommy,' and all is well.

i truly love and cherish each day being a mommy to two young babies. i love them so much, and while i am a bit afraid of the future teenage peyton, it's only because we are so similar in personality and emotion. i will value her traits, everyone of them, as i have learned to value all of mine.

story time turned into a production tonight, but finally they were quiet...and it is a total happy.
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more happy things,
peyton and beckham and how much they love their auntie heather.
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recipe time with beckham.
he takes it pretty seriously. it's actually disgusting, but, well, he loves to make a mess and i love
watching him search for items in the kitchen to 'cook' with. i would say this recipe was called,
orange oatmeal with cinnamon nutmeg fruit cereal.
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some of the women in my life are really special (grandpa too!)
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my lovely mother.

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my beautiful sisters. wishing we lived closer to one another. love you, ladies! xoxo

this recipe...

carin's dill and caper chicken.
last year, carin came into town for a much needed girl fest. the three of us sat on the countertop with a glass of
wine, ate cold dill chicken out of the fridge, laughed, danced to mama mia and poked fun at pierce brosnan.
it became a famously perfect evening. so with fond girlfriend bonding memories, i am sharing this with you.

carin's dill chicken is my favorite chicken dish under the healthy umbrella. well, i think it's healthy and if it's not
don't tell me 'cause i like it lots.

chicken breast brushed with olive oil.
optional: sprinkle some of your favorite seasoning salt on the chicken while grilling.
1/4 extra virgin lite olive oil
1 big jar of capers
a bunch of fresh dill.

grill seasoned chicken until done, but not overcooked. when done, i cut the chicken breast into threes (makes it
easy to grab a piece out of the fridge when running out the door), put into pyrex dish. in a pan, i heat the olive oil
capers for a minute or two. add to chicken and sprinkle with a lot of chopped dill. it's soooooo good. try it.
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i made it all fancy for jeff though...
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and lastly...
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congratulations, beautiful girl! thank you for letting me capture such a big night in your life! it was an amazing party you rocked it out.

to see more of your sneak peek, please go here.


lots of love.
xo


38 comments:

GraceesMommy said...

heidi..such sweet words for my soul...sista! i swear if we were filling out that job app together i would just say "see heidi's..ditto." i use to be uncomfortable speaking those words about myself...but hey i am who i am and there is not much i can do about that! after 48 almost 49 years i have learned to be comfortable in my own skin and not try to change those things that make me..hmmm..great wife..fabulous mother and loyal friend.

on the peyton thing...i can still remember the first time gracee said that to me..oh my heart..i called everyone i knew crying..they laughed and said it is a sign of that i was doing something right. gracee had a spelling bee in school this year and i made her study (go figure) and she was so mad because she said she knew the words...well guess what she won the bee and when i found out she told me "i am not mad at you anymore for making me study." see it paid off and fifty bucks made her sing another tune!

your momma is so beautiful..i am talking elizabeth taylor stunningly beautiful..and you girls ain't bad either! (hope the picky people from kelle's blog don't grammar and spell check your blog) oh well just in case....in the FEWCHURE me and my girl are going to co-blog my next post...she is excited so i will let you know when it is up. thanks for the happy heart to start the day!♥

Lisa Hewlett said...

Being so sensitive myself, I think I'll be crawling into a hole the first time Jack is mean to me. The first 10 weeks of his life he was colicky, and I took it personally, I thought he hated me :-) I usually think most people don't like me - ha! Like I said, SEN-SI-TIVE. :-) But you're a great Mommy - and Peyton is your #1 fan I'm so sure :-)

Rebecca MacIntosh said...

You are seriously stunning! I love that you can be mean and bitchy and decisive and and and... it makes you real ;) Real is always a nice change... it makes the lovely bits so much more lovely!
I will be trying that recipe... I would like to try it right now... but hence it is only 9am so I will wait... Have a wonderful weekend :)

Kara Brown said...

I LOVE your blog. I came here from Kelle's whose blog I am also obsessed with, haaha. Your words are beautiful and SO true!!!! The one about Peyton saying you are a mean mommy rang so true to me especially today, after a VERY long, bedtime that turned not so nice lastnight, with a sobbing five year old also telling me that I was mean and that she didn't like me. Talk about feeling like you were just hit in the stomach. Such is life I guess though, you keep plugging along, tell the kiddies you love them more than life, and then go downstairs and cry, and eat lots of chocolate icecream...and hope tomorrow goes better. :) You are beautiful, and your pictures and words are too. Thanks for sharing....I so look forward to new posts!!

Kara Brown

Daniele said...

I can imagine it now, hearing my daughter tell me how "mean" I am ... She is only 2 yrs and 10 months old now, but we have more than our fair share of moments where I tell her she can't, or should do something- and she cries and gives me the look that says "I think you're mean mommy". Hate those times of parenthood! BUT fortunately we have tenfold more happy I-love-you-mommy times that override everything :)
Love your pictures!

Jewllori by Lori said...

I'm soooo not sensitive, not even one bit, not an ounce!! But I have a sensitive boy...really sensitive, like I can't even roar like a lion while playing with them or he breaks down in tears. Ya. So I've come to learn bout you sensitive souls, and I LOVE YOU! I really do!! Sweet natured, loveable, huggie, sooooooooo precious. Just love it!

You rock, Heidi! Rock the sensitive soul, we all need people like you :D

Greta S. said...

Hi Heidi,
Your blog is great. Yours & Kelle's are the only 2 blogs I "blog stalk". They are great.
I didn't know you had more sisters other than Heather?? Wow!
Also, I love the bedding on Peyton's bed!! Ga-ga over that ruffle bedskirt!
You look great. And your pics are wonderous and deeeee-light-ful!
xoxo
Greta

Jewllori by Lori said...

oh and P.s. (not sure how I missed those last pics of your fam)...but you come from a LOOOOOOOOOOONG line of gorgeous!!!!!!!!

xoxo,
Lori

Kate said...

Good Morning Heidi,
I am leaving for a small getaway and had to get my Heidi fix!! Whew girl I am so glad you don't disappoint:) Heidi you truly are such a beautiful spirit. I love how you share and the photojournalism always wraps around my heart like a warm blanket. So I see we have a new member of the "mean mommies" club:) As Shrek would say "join the club, we have jackets" I have had three campaigns in the mean mommies club. My newest term is now with my Gracie. Thank you again for such a spectacular post.

Sending you hugs from Cali

Kate

Liz said...

Hi, Heidi! I've been following your blog for a little while (found you from Kelle's site) (I have a 3-yr-old son with DS) and I thought telling you I love your blog is much overdue! Love, love it! You have such a beautiful family!

JennyCB said...

If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent. ~ Bette Davis
xo

Liz said...

Oh! And I love your photography and the recipes! :)

The Manrings said...

love reading your words.....you and your sisters look so much alike! those personality tests need to be short answer/essay questions not multiple choice. hehehe. then we could make up our own answers that fit us perfectly. happy mother's day to you too btw......wishing you lots of happy days with patience and creativty and love. see you tomorrow!! xo, linds
ps. love the ruffly bed skirt so much!

Stacy Monaghan said...

I agree with all the other mommies, and I also wanted to say that the picture of Beckham looking at the book while his big sister reads to him melted my heart. Beautiful!

Heidi said...

oh my goodness, i love seeing new faces here and all the comments are so, so sweet. thank you so much!

joy, i am so calling my mom tomorrow to tell her what you said, it will make her month. xo can't wait to see gracees post!!!

rebecca. you made my day! thank you:)

kara!!! you are so kind. i hate to say it, but i'm happy to hear it appears like normal 5 year old behavior. it's like they grow up over night. yes, ice cream really does help, or chocolate covered almonds that i am craving like a crazy person! ha.

stacy, liz and danielle...
wow...your sweet words about my little ones...thank you so much. we are pretty much in love with them.

xoxo

Nicole said...

Heidi! What the heck are you doing down there, being mean to childrens???!! LOL!!

Us sensitive gals....are just the best--that's all there is to it. We love hard, we laugh hard, we cry hard, and we do our best to try and squueze as much goodness out of every day--and our loved ones-as we can. One of my fave song lyrics:

I'm sensitive, and I'd like to stay that way.---Jewel

Hope your having an insanely love-and-fun filled weekend!

xo-nicole

SDM said...

when I first read I thought OMG she just described me... how did you do that?! LOL!! glad to know I've got a soulmate in sunny FL!
now if you're worried about the teen years imagine how I'm feeling with THREE girls -- uh oh! Knowing my mom survived me and seeing how close we are now (and how much I LOVE her!!!!!) helps get me through the tantrums the girls have when they're little...
it's amazing how much Peyton looks like you -- and how beautiful your whole family is...

and the cutest thing-- the kids wearing monkey pj's while actually acting like monkeys!

as always your words & pics made me smile!!
xoxo
-s

GraceesMommy said...

hey friend...my girl and i are done with our co-blogging..i think i may use her a little more often! she would have put every picture she could on it..did i tell you my new camera is changing our lives!! we wanted to share with you so come visit our blog.

dig this chick said...

Heidi! I love this post. It's funny and witty and charming. I think people's best attributes are also their worst...for me, my sensitivity makes me a great friend and an honest person but it also makes me insane when I don't need to be insane. It's a tough balance but thanks to the 'maturity' that comes in the 30s, we're sorting it all out.

Your kids are beautiful. As are you.

iColossus / Monster said...

Second time viewing of this post...last time got distracted by...work, ha.

OK, I think I might have to make that chicken recipe...I could have eaten it off the page, I mean, screen. Seriously.

And Becks...he's one handsome boy. And the pic of Peyton levitating off the bed is hilarious. Glad you guys made up!

Beautiful childrens! And beautiful pictures and post.

Love ya,

-iColossus

GraceesMommy said...

just wanted to say that kelle's picture of beckham with the green hat is killer!!! he is one of the most handsome little boys i have ever seen...and i am sure you would agree. re-read the post again..enjoyed it even a little more this time i think!

Domestic Diva said...

finally, i'm here and i have time to comment!! i've been busy trying to keep my head above water ... busy times (but happy ones, nonetheless!!)

you're anything but a mean momma! i know there are times when you'll doubt that. b/c when you hear those words from your heart and soul, the littles you've created, it hurts! and trust me, i've been there ... and probably will be for years!! with ella almost 7, we're entering a new world! girls and their 'tudes!!!!!!! (and it doesn't help that she has two little brothers who want to act just like her :)

happy day, heidi! i hope the sun is shining in on your little piece of the globe.

xoxo,
april

ps - the ruffle bedskirt, where is that from? um-huh, i'm loving it!

Tammy B said...

Hey lady! I just wanted to apologize for being MIA as well!!! I've been reading and enjoying, just not taking the time to comment. I'm sorry. I'll do better.

Love you and your family. I'm a mean mom too. With my oldest at 10, I get all kinds of nice compliments, almost daily. It's hard. Deep down, I KNOW I'm doing the right thing, but it's hard when the tears and the temper tantrums start. And I don't think they realize, that we have feelings too.

xoxox to you.

Kelly said...

There is nothing mean about you; even on your meanest day! Heidi and mean are an oxymoron! I love the ones of them jumping on the bed and reading together. Oh my sweeet! They make me excited for Lily to have a sibling in just 4-5 short months! :) xoxo

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