Monday, July 11, 2011

i suck. {but a giveaway helps, right?)

i wish i had some wonderful excuse or reason for not blogging in almost a month. a month?! a month. the longest it has ever been between posts. i hate not blogging. like h-a-t-e it. i talk about it. i obsess over not writing in it when i am not, but i haven't written just the same. if i am to blame anything it may be a little of too much fun and a little heartache too.

we are in michigan for most of the summer!

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so i have been:

hanging with family... obsessively.
drinking in the weather. the kind that doesn't leave my hair in a huge frizz ball!
and spending time with friends and my own two little ones.
sucking up the joys of summer with slip and slides and ice cream cones. late bedtimes and evening bike rides with daddy.
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two little ones: i LOVE having peyton out of school, but i must have forgotten how much peyton and beckham like to antagonize one another and it's EVERYDAY, all day! mama's tired. and possibly losing her mind.

it's good to get them outside in the lush 'greeness' that is michigan!
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wishing flowers are highly sought after between peyton, becks, and their cousin evie!

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sito bought this really cool machine and we made homemade fruit pops. they are soooo good and really healthy! she comes up with the coolest tricks! we love sito!
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i've been crazy exhausted the last few weeks and really busy with work and after the kids go to bed...i am quickly following behind to catch my own zzz's.

my grandma, who i have written about before is sick. like really sick. really, really sick and she's not getting better.

i got the call a few weeks ago, a couple of days before i left florida for michigan.

"Is this Heidi D, granddaughter to colleen i?"

(in the car with the kids) "Yes it is!"

"This is nurse Nancy with blah blah blah hospice. we need to inform you that we are putting her in our at home hospice program."

all i heard was hospice. the word rung over and over again in my ears and my mind went numb with sorrow at what being in this program would mean for my sweet grandma.

"did you say you are putting her in a hospital named Hostice?"

i knew what she said, but at that moment i couldn't wrap my mind around it, so the nurse repeated again that it was Hospice and that my grandma is having Kidney Failure and that she was not a candidate for dialysis.

i actually had to call back for the latter part of that information as i completely blanked out and had to pull the car over. i hated nurse nancy for behaving so nonchalant about the whole convo. after a minute or so and after apparently hearing my panic, she politely threw in 'sweetheart' when she addressed me again. it was kind of her.

basically, my grandma is dying and it sucks. i've been really having a rough time with this news and until recently i have been in a sad place about it.

the biggest gift right now is that i get to be here in michigan and spend time with her. precious time that my mind has compartmentalized into precious minutes and seconds. i realize that she will not be here in a year and much less than that.

my grandma is the cool grandma that would play video games with us kids, give us soup in a coffee mug, and talk about going back to vegas one day to win some 'big money'. she let me watch Love Connection on sleepovers and we both share a fierce love of my mom's garden tomatoes. sliced thin and sprinkled with salt. heaven. on. earth.

i used to tell her everything and she never made me feel like i couldn't do otherwise.

soon after the news, my sister heather and i were talking on the phone. we were trying to plan something special for gram. if she has three months to live...we are going to help her live these three months the way she wants to.

seeing her for the first time after i heard the news a few days prior was weird. i was scared to see her and i could feel my heart beating and i hated my apprehension in approaching her front door.

when the kids and i walked in, the woman who cries happy tears each time i have visited her in past months...showed almost no emotion and only a little smile. i used to hate when she cried, but now i only wanted her to sob and throw her arms around my neck. but she didn't do that.

i searched for anything that looked like my grandma, but on this day, she wasn't her. she looked blank. my sister and i tried to entice her with a trip to vegas, a new puppy, her favorite thai food...to no response or excitement.

i held her hand even though she didn't seem to want me to. i clutched and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

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she looked frail and not with it, but she seemed to enjoy talking to the kids. peyton reminded her that she was named after her and beckham kept asking if he could give the dog a bone.

it was all so innocent and sweet. weird and timed.

it felt like a huge coo coo clock had been temporarily installed into my brain and it was ticking away each minute that passed. it sucks watching someone you desperately love...die.

as peyton laid on grandma's medical bed looking at photos of justin bieber and solena gomez (mama, look, they are holding hands! they are going to get married!), i looked over at her and realized that one life is just beginning and another precious life is coming to an end.

it's all one big circle and normal and the way it supposed to be and my sadness grew more intense.

we are always changing, this is a good thing, but change can be hard and feel cruel and wrong. but it's not.

my beautiful grandma is okay right now. i spent a few hours with her yesterday and she...smiled a huge a smile when my sister and i walked through the door. heather threw her a plum and she scarfed it down in a few seconds...just like grandma does. we played cards and she beat heather and i fair and square. we laughed and pretended that everything was okay for the moment.

i am learning that this is a very normal part of life. death. it's what makes the time we have together to important and precious. it has reminded me to fill that time with the people we love. loving them and telling them how much.

for now, i will enjoy every minute i have with gram. she has been a gift in my life and it's not over yet! this time with her is amazing and i appreciate it for what it is...another gift.

i'll be livin' it up with gram for awhile and i am excited for this time.

***
in between cousins and grandparents and all this fun stuff, i have had a couple of shoots. to the beautiful families i have had the opportunity to capture, here is your sneak peek!
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and these two pretty girls welcomed a new baby sister!
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***
in honor of my third year of blogging, which came and went a few months ago, i am doing a giveaway!
random.org will choose a winner to receive a $40 gift card to any store at etsy.com!!

all you have to do is leave me a comment so i can put you in the drawing to be picked. good luck!!! if you are inclined, tell me something great that you are enjoying so far this summer. i'd love to hear! i'm back, baby!

xoxoxo,
happy summer and i will be back in a three to four days to choose a winner and to post some of the million photos i have been snapping! good to be back!
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87 comments:

Heidi said...

Fun drawing! I've been enjoying going to the beach. And because I'm so up on the times :) I'm also enjoying reading Harry Potter for the first time.

Taylor Ann said...

your kids are so darling! I was so sad I didn't get to see you guys in Michigan this year. We are spending evenings up on the housepad, star gazing, and drinking lots of soda around these parts:)

J said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. She sounds like a great lady. I lost my grandma last fall and the world is not quite the same without her. She was the epitome of cool. I also got to spend time with her at the very end and now I cherish that time I spent with her. I'm glad you are getting the same opportunity. Take care.
-Jen

Sian said...

Yay you're are back! I really missed your beautiful posts but sometimes life needs to be lived huh?

I'm so sorry about your Grandma. I was literally in tears reading your post. Death, although the reason why life is so precious, is so heartbreaking. You planning to make the rest of her life the best it can be is such a gift. You say she was a great Grandma to you and equally she is lucky to have you as her Grand daughter. *hugs*

I'm also enjoying getting outdoors more this summer. (esp as my boys spend all the time wrestling...argh!)There have been lots of walks in the woods discovering nature...

Greta said...

Hi Heidi,
I am so sorry to hear about your Grams. I lost mine in 2006 (she was 97) and my gramp in 2008 (he was 101 and 100% Italian!). I miss them dearly, and I think about them all the time. I used to visit them in Chicago once a year. I miss everything. But, like you, I have a lottttt of pics to look back on, and a million wonderful memories.

Glad to see you are enjoying a long summer in Michigan. Time spent with family and your kids is priceless. Carpe Diem! Can't wait to see all your pics!

Bella_K said...

Awww... Heidi I am so so sorry to hear about your Grandma, but glad to hear you get to spend time with her & see her! I hope you are ok!! Your Summer looks wonderful!! Our Winter here in Australia is starting to get very cold!! Our wedding plans are almost done, only 18 days to go!!
Enjoy the rest of your Summer & can't wait to read more blogs (I missed seeing your blog pop up in my 'to-read' list)
xo
Bindy

J Scheppl said...

We're enjoying spending as much time as we can outside. We've planted our first garden, put out the little kiddie pool as much as we can, have picnics and run through sprinklers. Planning a little summer getaway soon. We're loving summer!!!!! Sooo sorry about your grandma. Enjoy every minute you have with her and have a blast in Michigan!!!!

Heather said...

I'm enjoying the basil from my garden. Making pesto galore! Putting it in little mason jars & giving it away. Does it get any more "summer" than that!?

So sorry to hear about your grandma. Thinking of you.

Mrs Mason said...

I love the look of those lollipops. Sorry to hear about your Grandma. Life sucks sometimes. It is a blessing that you are able to spend this time with her.
Lovely to have you back again.
x

Lisa Hewlett said...

I'm so sorry about your Grandmother. I've lost one grandparent so far, and the thought that they won't be around forever is heartbreaking. I'll be praying for her (and you!) Enjoy your trip!

Kathryn said...

Your very generous and happy blogaversary! I'm so sorry about your Grandma, but am very glad you get to be near family as you all go through this loss together.
We are spending our Summer being spontaneous with fun indoor activities while the heat blazes out doors. Indoor scavenger hunt anyone?

Heather said...

Heidi, my heart goes out to you right now. I have been there and I can say, yes it is hard but this time will bring you even closer to your gram. It will almost be sacred ground. I would not trade one moment of the pain if it meant not having those last months with my grandma. Praying you all have peace, laughter and beauty in this season.

Can't wait to see more pictures!

The kidlets adn I are enjoying all kinds of summer fun, swimming, long walks to get ice cream, free movies, concerts in the park, campfires in the back yard and of corse staying up way to late!

Esther said...
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Esther said...

I love the greenery in the photos.

We're spending our days trying to stay out of the humid heat.

:)

Esther Dush

colette said...

Heidi~
I came across your blog through Kelle's and always enjoy your posts.

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. I am an RN that primarily works with the elderly, many of which are in hospice or close to it. While it never gets easier dealing with these situations, I have come to find beauty in times where a family surrounds their dying loved one. The love, memories, and feeling of 'family' just oozes from the room. It's still very much a sad time, but being together in those final days just seems to be what our hearts need during these inevitable moments in life.

I'm so glad your able to be in Michigan with her at this time. Many hugs to you and your family.

And what I'm enjoying this summer... long days spent in the sun with my kids. gardening, swimming, lounging.

Kristine said...

Glad to have you back, Heidi! I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother. Big hugs to you. It's so hard when they are not themselves. My grandmother has Alzheimers and it's like she's just 'there' sometimes, so I understand your sadness about your sweet grandmother acting so different. It's heartbreaking. Your post makes me realize that I need to spend more time with my Gram....so thank you for that. Your kiddos are adorable as ever and look to be really enjoying thier time with family in Michigan. My son and I have been making our own freeze pops too and we can't get enough! So many possibilities!:) We're also enjoying watching our garden explode with tasty, healthy eats.....practicing our swimming the in lake....and planning lots of playdates with friends. We love summer! Can't wait to see more of your incredible pictures!
xo
Kris

Megan said...

Your kids are so adorable!

I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. When I was pregnant with my 1st in 2006 we were told my grandma had stage 4 cancer, nothing we could do would stop it. She was given 3 months to live. She held on to meet her first great-granddaughter and died exactly 2 weeks after her birth. I have one picture of them that I cherish. Then, when I was pregnnat with my 2nd, my grandpa got sick and died exactly one week after the birth of her. As you said, one life was ending as another was just beginning. I'm glad you are getting to spend time with her. You and your family our in my thoughts.

This summer I am enjoying days at the pool, and just awaiting our 2 weeks trip to Florida in August.

Terri said...

So sorry to hear about your grandma! Of course I love the post and the pictures! Would love to see you while you are here. If around DH at all let me know, we can have a play date! Of course I am enjoying my first summer home with the kids, parties, pool time, zoo, etc.. all of the things I couldn't do enough before!

Summit of Glory said...

So sorry to hear about your Grandmother. That stinks. Glad you are there w her tho. This summer I am enjoying doing little fun things w my family. Nice to have kiddos home from school. Hpapy you are back. xo

Meredith said...

Spending some time in Israel sharing Jonah with the in-laws. And loving up family. Thinking of you and your grandmother.

AM said...

This summer I am enjoying my first summer as a Mama. Going to the zoo, swimming as much as we can, and napping with my sweet, almost 10 month old.
I'm glad you are able to be close to family at this time!

Ani said...

I found your blog through Enjoying the Small Things. Your kids are so adorable! Michigan summer looks a lot like Minnesota summer. We're loving swimming and popsicles right now! I think I'll give my grandma a call tonight.

GraceesMommy said...

Reading this just opened the floodgates to the summer I lost my Nana. She gave me so much..my love for reading, gardening, the arts and canning are just a few. I am telling you even after all these years every single time I get her old canner out my heart just aches to tell her I love beyond measure even now. She said words like tomato and pizza like she was upper crust but she loved to get her hands into the ground and plant the most incredible flowers and veggies. Oh..I hate losing our loved and wish there was some way to just stop time before we have to say goodbye. I try to share her with Gracee as much as possible and I tell her about my "Nana"....Gracee has a Nana of her own who has is sharing much of the same things that my Nana did..the circle of life is incredible.

Now on to a lighter note...wanna talk about freaky...I just ordered the Zoku on Friday from amazon. My friend has one and we had one and as soon as I got home it was ordered!

Loved this friend...you may have missed a month in blogging world but it was worth the wait!! Enjoy your time with your family.♥

Kelly said...

Hi! Fairly new reader here. Glad you are enjoying summer in Michigan - I bet it's a nice change of scenery from Florida! Here in Oregon we're enjoying our evenings outside in the very lovely weather & lots of days in the kiddy pool! :)

Kylie M-W said...

Heidi,

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I'm glad you're still managing to have fun in Michigan, though! I am loving the summer weather... after a long and cold winter, the sun is a much welcome change!

Stacey said...

I'm so sorry about your grandma, but happy that you get to spend some time with her this summer.

I'm enjoying camping with the family and simply sleeping in and not having to make school lunches!

Caroline said...

Yeah! Welcome back! Enjoy your time in MI and especially with your Gram. How wonderful to have this time with your family.

Krystle said...

Loving the pictures. Praying for your family.
This summer I'm enjoying being a first time mom with my little girl. She was born in March and she amazes me every day. Seeing her discover things for the first time this summer is amazing!

Bonnie said...

So sorry to hear about your grandma but glad you get to spend this time with her.

Rhonda said...

So great to have you back. And I am so glad you are having this special time with your Gramma. There is nothing more special then a Gramma's love. I lost mine 5 years ago, but I know she is looking out and loving me from afar!! Cherish the memories!!

xo
Rhonda

The Michelle Show said...

Glad to have you back! I dont even know you, and I missed you and your kids. Is that weird?? Haha.

Maria said...

Welcome back, Heidi. Prayers go out to you, your grandmother & the rest of your family. Such a hard time. Remember the good times but try to stay present. Sometimes we dwell in the past or worry too much about what's ahead & we miss the beauty of right now.
Hugs,
Maria

lorri said...

Keep the posts coming! Love your photos. This summer I am loving spending as much time on my bike as I possibly can. Best wishes to you and your grandma.

Keri said...

I am loving so very much this summer...I am loving sweating it up outside and then dipping in the cool pool!! Ahhh!

Sarah said...

I've missed your blog, your photos, your words and your spirit. Beautiful thoughts about your grandmother. I held my grandmother's hand a lot in life and was able to spend a lot of time with her holding her hand as she was dying. In fact, I held her hand when she passed. And the thoughts crossed my mind that people I never knew (her parents, her grandparents) held her hands as she came into this world and I was holding them as she left it. This life connected me to them, but more importantly, she had people her whole life to hold her hand and that is precious...we have people to love and to love us every step. No one loves you like your grandmother does and it is such a special relationship. I used to think that I would be ready for her to go when she got older, when I got older, but I wasn't. You are never ready, but you'll be thankful for the time you do have with her. Sorry to ramble...I hope I make sense. Happy Summer.

Sam said...

I needed my dog days of summer 'reset' button hit, and you did the trick by throwing the quick and fleeting appreciation of 'right now' into perspective, tempting me to wake up the sleeping babes I threaten into loosing my summer sanity on, if naps we not taken ASAP…but instead… I will appreciate the quiet of it all and be sending positive thoughts your way.

The simple things in life... said...

I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma, we are going through the same with Nana right now, but with terminal cancer. I can't think of words to describe how sad and angry I feel, but it sucks! I'm so glad you are spending lots of time with your precious Grandma. Love all of your posts Heidi, even when they make me cry! Look after yourself xx

April said...

You do suck! J/K!!!! I was just missing you! I totally get the whole lack of blogging thing, though. I've gone through rough patches myself. Sometimes it's just not high on the priority list, even though we think of it all of the time!! I know I haven't been at my computer much this summer, let alone in the house!!

So great to have you "back."

xoxo,
A

PS - So sorry to hear about your Grandma. She sounds like one heck of a gal :)

PPS - How long are you gonna be in MI? I will be heading to the Detroit suburbs for Labor Day weekend!!

Anonymous said...

You might want to tell your friend Kelle that a girl plagiarized her blog post from January 7. Most of it is a word for word copy. Www.greenawaltfamilylife.blogspot.com. She should report it!

Heather said...

I've been enjoying my new baby girl, evening swims, homemade ice cream, searching for bugs with my 2 year old son, trying new recipes, and playing shuffleboard with the hubs :) I love summertime!!

jan marie said...

Happened upon your blog and am inspired by your appreciation for life! I've been enjoying afternoon swims in the inflatable pool, farm fairs, boatrides to the nearby sand bar, and watching my two kids enjoy it all too.

Kimberly said...

Heidi, I'm so glad you are back. I've missed your words and pictures. I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. It is always a tough thing to go through. I've been enjoying watching our little Maddie swim this summer. We've got ourselves a little fish!

Patti said...

I've missed you too! And you don't suck, you're totally entitled to a blog break with all that you have going on...all of your faithful readers will be right here waiting for your gorgeous photos and yummy recipes and inspiring writing whenever life settles down!
I am so sorry about your grandma- so sweet that you will have this time with her. We just traveled back east (PA) to say goodbye to my aunt~ it was hard to leave all my kids and find a sitter and work out travel arrangements, etc. but I am so glad I did. She passed away 2 days ago, and as hard as seeing her in her weakened and faded condition was- not saying goodbye would have broken my heart. I am so glad you have this time with your grandma- those photos and moments are ones you will cherish forever. Hugs to you all the way from Oregon.

Amy said...

Yeah! You are back! I am enjoying lots of time in the lake.. watching our almost two year old be far too brave and jump in the water from the boat.. SCARY for mom.. fun for Parker..

Sorry to hear about your Gram.. mine turns 90 the end of the month and I love her so so much.

enjoy the midwest!
Love from MN.

cathy said...

Enjoying my boys.....loving them like there is no tomorrow

xoxo
cathy

Nadine said...

Heidi,
So sorry to hear about your grandma, it's especially hard when you live so far away, I can relate, and my heart goes out to you and your family!
Happy you're back in the blogging world though, I missed your posts!
Love the pictures, as always!

atyson said...

This summer, I've been enjoying nursing school...because I'll be done in 2 weeks!!! AHHHHH!

And, I hope every minute you get to spend with your grandmother lasts forever.

Sarah said...

Heidi....I'm so sorry to use your blog comment section for this, but to Anonymous...

In reading stories about people's summers or stories of grandmothers, I was intrigued by your comment of plagiarism so I checked the blog out. And you are right, it is sort of sad that the girl copied a post word for word and it is plagiarism, BUT that mother is just trying to raise money for a cure for her kid (and others) and I'm sure was inspired by so much $$ raised for the NDSS. Both my kids are "typical" so I don't know what I'm talking about, but I imagine we all would steal bread (or words) to help our child live.

Jeanie said...

I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I know it's tough to see someone you love slowly slip away. Take advantage of those moments you can still spend with her. I didn't get that chance with my grandmother and as weird as it sounds, I envy you. Live life to the fullest.

I am trying to live my life to the fullest. I am working even harder on my photography skills this summer and learning to appreciate things through my lens that I take for granted.

Amy said...

Welcome back!
Any store on Etsy??!!! Oh lordy...

Jen said...

Sorry to read about your grandma- I've slowly been watching my grandma experience dementia. :-(
I have been enjoying my first summer with my daughter and watching her experience summer 'firsts'-pools, watching fireworks, sprinklers, boat rides... The list goes on and on.... Have a wonderful time in Michigan with your family!

Suzi said...

Sorry to hear about your Grandma. I lost my last grandparent just before Christmas, but I do get reminded of her all the time through the memories of my three year old daughter. And only happy memories. I love that!
Glad your back to blogging!
So far this summer has been fun. We just got back from Las Vegas. Which was not only my husbands and my first vacation in 7 years, but also the first time away from my baby! Hoping to do lots of camping this summer and just enjoy everyday.

Nic said...

Sorry to hear about your Grandma. Your photos brought a smile to my face! Gorgeous as always.

I am missing Summer and very much looking forward to the warm weather returning here!

Stacey said...

Glad you are enjoying some time with your grandma. I know how hard it is to lose a grandma, as I lost one last year. Enjoy every precious moment with her!

I am enjoying summer in our new home in Arizona. We just moved here three weeks ago and we have been spending almost every day in our pool, as well as unpacking, learning our new area, meeting new friends, and creating beautiful new memories! We have a 3 year old daughter and a son that turns 6 next month, so going through this new adventure with them is incredible!

m.d.l. said...

I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. There are what I call white days and grey days - I'm sure with you being home, she will have lots and lots of white days during whatever time she still has on this earth!

Rachael said...
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Rachael said...

so happy you're back! i always enjoy your posts and beautiful pictures. so sorry to hear about your grandma. mine passed in the fall and it's never easy, or anything close to it.

this summer i am loving random bbq's with friends, teaching the sweetest children how to swim at work, and trying out new recipes. last night was a passionfruit buttermilk pound cake, and it was unreal.

looking forward to more posts! :)

Rebecca said...

Oh I've missed your bloggin!
So sorry to hear about your Grandma, I've been through the goodbyes before we move away from ours and it's a heavy reality. You are handling it with such beautiful grace.

Enjoy your summer of lush green and family! xoxo :)

Teresa said...

So sorry about your Gram! Tough stuff at any age.
I am loving warm weather, kids playing in the kiddie pool, popsicles on the deck and local fresh produce. Yay for Farmer's markets!!

Daniele said...

glad you're back!

loving EVERYthing about summer, here in IL...

Stacy Monaghan said...

I'm so glad to see you back, but sad that your grandma is not well. Enjoy your time with her.

We have been enjoying very warm weather, and are heading to Vegas this week, hoping to win some big money as well! Other than that, we too are "filling our time with the people we love. loving them and telling them how much" - what a great way to spend your summer!!

Lafleche said...

Heidi, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma. I lost mine beloved Granny not too long ago and it was really hard. Its so special for you that you get to spend this time with her. You'll forever cherish it.

On a lighter note, I've been enjoying no school for the kids this summer. And lots and lots of popsicles.

I have missed your writing and your words.
Im glad youre back, girl.

Nicky C. K. said...

So sorry to hear about your grandma :( sounds like an amazing woman.

that new baby is absolutely adorable. almost doll-like!

this summer we're enjoying popsicles that drip down our chins, dinners out on the porch, sprinklers and being surrounded by friends and family. can't get much better than that!

Annette said...

Love reading your blog and your pics are amazing!!!!

Jen Bacarella said...

Life needs to be lived, cherished and remembered. I try to think about these three things everyday when I get up and knowing you the way I do, I know that you have done these the three with your Grandma. Your words, the way you describe, her the way you love her...I really think you were a big part of making her so awesome. I miss you already and it has only been 5 days :-(

Joann said...

Happy you are back! Sorry about your gram. Enjoy your time with her. I have been enjoying time with my 2 boys, just hanging out in our backyard playing in our little pool! They love it! Enjoy the summer:o)

AubreyLaine said...

Thanks for the giveaway! I am enjoying going to the pool & relaxing w/ family!
littlegray88 at yahoo dot com

Sam said...

Welcome back! I'm happy to hear you have the opportunity to spend some real quality time with your family. I have cherished the opportunity to go back East for the past three years to spend a few weeks with my family.

Heidi said...

aww. thank you all so much for the sweet words about my gram. i am pretty sure i have cried at reading each one of them. very healing...thank you for that!

also, i have enjoyed reading what you are doing with your summer...i have taken a few ideas and i'm going to run with them.

off to choose a giveaway winner tonight. will announce tomorrow!

xoxxoxxo

Loosy said...

I'm so sorry about your grams. I love you boo. xoxo

katie said...

Yay! You're back to the blog!

Dot said...

I have been working on the inside of my house because it has been so hot!!! I also started sewing again and I love it :) Can't wait to see you glad you are having a good summer...xoxo

Tisha said...

aw heidi, i'm so sorry about your grandma. treasure the good lucid days and soak them in. glad you are back to blogland.

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Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year
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