Thursday, April 7, 2011

ignite your light.

yesterday, i was driving down a perfectly manicured road while the sun just happened to be setting. as a photographer, of course i like me some golden sun-setting light. it's sometimes called the golden hour or magical light.

and in true heidi darwish fashion, i over think just about everything and i couldn't help but see how this gold dipped light made everything seem neater, greener, uniform, more 'spring' like. it was like Tinkerbell herself waved her magic wand and glittered everything up for the benefit of meeeeeeeee and me only!

as i drove home from publix, florida's favorite grocery store, i blared my radio (katy perry's firework was on...freaking love that song) and belted out katy's song like it was my job. i felt good. real good! i know the guy in the car next to me was looking at me while i was stopped at the light but it was one of those times where i forgot to slow my singing roll before i stopped the car and i didn't want the guy next to me to know that i knew he was watching me act like the next american idol (pia, really?) so i pretended to not notice i was being stared at, so i instead just kept singing as loudly as i was but looking out the opposite window of where mr. simon cowell/nosy pants was.

i was embarrassed, but what are you going to do? nada, so i kept on truckin' or singing in my case with indignant thought rolling around my head. it's my car, my space and i'll sing like an idiot if i want to. yeah.

i went grocery shopping, so we had fresh things to eat; my house was clean for a minute and we all know that there is nothing better than walking into a tidy house after being out... with the exception my house being tidy with dinner and candles on the table (hint;)

it was unmistakable: i was feeling grateful and the sun setting at that exact moment of clarity was just a perfect metaphor for how i was feeling in that moment. i wanted to celebrate it, i wanted to dance, plant a garden, solve world hunger, call my friends, my sisters. guess what? i just bought fresh italian parsley! ...and the sky is the color of a blood orange. i wish you were here.

i started seeing things and loving them on the spot...like my mailbox.

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i was giddy and i love when i am giddy because truth be told, i'm not giddy enough. people aren't giddy enough. i know why...we are too busy and tired to be giddy. we have houses to clean, kids to love and model ourselves for,dinner to make and clean up, homework to do, emails to tend to, personal upkeep is taking longer these days, and somebody puked on the floor.

yeah, giddy comes once in a while so when you get it...grab it by the neck and take it for a fast and hard ride and don't stop until you are to tired to smile.

a few things that have made me smile lately:

*this video. i had to cut a lot out in order to upload it, but the beginning is cute too.
ever since our little girl had her bangs cut, she's turned into a little teenager with the dance moves to prove it. we don't watch mtv, so i have no idea where these moves are coming from but it made me smile and laugh hard so it made my list!
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*this coupon for the tangled movie peyton wants for easter.

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*having my house full of friends and kids. a bottle of red and dinner doesn't hurt either.

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*a manicure by beckham. styling by peyton.

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*my new and vintage table cloth. i found it at an antique shop last summer and scored it for $25. i love how it makes me feel like i'm in italy sitting around my grandma's table among all of her homemade lace doilies and table coverings.

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*unexpected rainy afternoons when the air smells like rain and worms and trees are waving wildly in response to the brewing storm.

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*when beckham asks to cook...cookies.

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recipe here.

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*wednesday mornings.
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*this boy and how he loves his nella.

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*peyton's face when she gets into gido's car for a surprise ride to school in the vette.

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*craziness that causes non-stop laughing...while on the floor.

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*a sandwich that is soooo good and easy and fast to make.

Pesto Sandwich
take good bread and swipe some pesto on both slices, add a few slices of {good quality, such as ugly tomatoes} thinly sliced tomato, and few slices of fresh mozzarella, sea salt, and pepper. put butter as you would a grilled cheese sandwich and place the sandwich in a grill pan or panini press. cook until cheese melted. sooo good and addicting.

i served mine with a tomato basil soup.
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*dinner with this bunch that i love so much.
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"beckham, wait here, i have a surprise for you!" as she gets up from the dinner table to get something out of her backpack.

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"here it is-a tomato!!!! I brought it from school for you to eat! do you like it?"

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i love it so much i'm going to blow you a kiss.

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*after dinner playing together.
trying to make a string attached to a paper heart fly like a kite. peyton made it and then beckham called it doo doo because it wouldn't...fly.
***
in not always finding the 'magical light,' in feeling buried under being a mommy, a housewife, a business owner and with all that that entails, i am happy to be uncovering it tonight while writing this blog and sharing our lives with family, friends and some people that we have never met...yet. i realize that some days can feel full of obligation and work and the mundane details that make up our day.

as women, guilt of all kinds can cast a shadow on our light. it's normal and real and it just means that we...feel as deeply as we love. we care.

we rock. and we are all in this together and i recognize how powerful that is.

somedays i am ready for the night to come quickly so that i can tuck my little ones safely into bed and begin to find myself again in what seems the first time since i opened my eyes to my little guy begging for juice at 6 am.

however, today was one of those special days where everything seemed...good. the kids argued a lot but they played in the setting sunlight like sunny and cher. my work overflowed but didn't feel overwhelming. dinner was good even though the dishes are still waiting for me patiently in the kitchen. pretty sure i'll be waking up to a sink full in the morning which kinda sucks, but on the other hand, i just bought me a new coffee cream...so with the dawn of a new day coming and the promise of a strong cup of coffee...i feel ready for tomorrow and all the little details that will need my attention!

"...ignite your light and let it shine!" because we women, are amazing creatures. each one of us in our own way.
xoxo

**i have received your recipe requests, thank you, and i am working on getting them organized and making/posting some here later on!

***uploading drama:pics are randomly small and big; photos cut off early. i fixed it for next post, but i left this post as is;)

20 comments:

Bella_K said...

LOL... I laughed at the dance, how adorable. Beautiful blog xx

Kate said...

Perfect night for my Heidi fix!!!

Love the warmth and the love that pours from your blog. My cup runneth over thank you

Besos
Kate

Kiki said...

Beautiful Post as always! I love that 1st picture the contrast of the orange and green is stunning!

Peyton looks stunning with her bangs!

Rhonda said...

Glad to see you found your happy place. It is so important. I have found it myself lately and it feels good. And I am not even feeling guilty about leaving a sick babe with his Daddy, while Mommy has some much needed girl time.
I am enjoying the laughter that good friends bring.
I am celebrating life, and love and all that is good!! That makes me happy!
I have also taken up sewing as of late, and creating things, imperfect things for my babes, who think I am the bomb, puts me in my happy place!
Here's hoping you find many more happy places. And if it is alongside Katy Perry...well you go girl ...xo

Hugs from PEI

R

Anonymous said...

Love reading your blog-- gorgeous pics always -- miss you
Annette

GraceesMommy said...

I am so excited...everything is rolling perfectly in my home today..dogs are pottied..husband off to work..Gracee is in her classroom on time and happily enjoying her first class of the day and I get to sit down and catch-up on my favorite blog. Priceless..eh?

I think the thing that I love about your blog is that I feel like I am reading a chapter of a really fabulous book...I don't want to just read it in a hurry..I need time, silence and a cappuccino to make the experience complete.
Pictures are fabulous, Peyton's toothless smile is enchanting and the Pesto sandwich recipe made me run to my freezer to see if I had any of pesto leftover..badabing..I do. Guess what I am having for dinner!! Pesto is like next to water for my hubby so I think he is going to love it!
Thanks for a great start to my day..you never let me down!!!♥

Eva Marie said...

I am totally feeling this post, from the video that melts my heart when Peyton says "thats my brother dancing like a... (and your unsure of the viewer what she is going to say but yells out the best possible response) ROCKSTAR!! Those two love deep :) From the truth in that somedays it just feels like you can breath easier and than somehow you sort everything out - i love days like these.

Tisha said...

you have ignited my light this morning, loved this post.

Angie said...

I love this post! It makes me want summer NOW. Loved ALL the pics and man, I wish I was a part of that Wednesday morning breakfast club! Definitely doing that with my girlfriends :)

Happy Friday!

XOXO,
Angie from Ohio

Tonja Keene said...

Those sandwiches... AMAZING. I actually came across a similar recipe last night and whipped it together. Thickly sliced french bread, pesto, gruyere cheese, butter the bread, grill it! So simple and so delicious. Others in my house would appreciate the tomato, but me, not so much.

Peyton is awesome. Love the Bieber fever happening at your house :)

Rebecca said...

Oooo I love this. I cannot wait to live where palm trees grow! Seeing your pics are making me excited for Cali! :)

April said...

You rock, Heidi, and so does this post! I love how you write about life, has me saying "Uh-huh, I've been there, totally get it!" Happy Friday, dear friend! How I would love to stop by on a Wednesday morning :)

PS - Thanks for the pick-me-up, really needing it these days!

KINBROWN0123@YAHOO.COM said...

HELLO DEAR, iTS ME YOUR FAV AUNT, LOL JUST STOPPIN BY TO SHOW SOME LOVE!BEAUTIFUL PICTURES AS USUAL! PEYTONS BANGS ARE VERY CUTE! BEAUTIFUL KIDS, BEAUTIFUL LIFE, BEAUTIFUL YOU!!!!! LOVE YOU XXXXOOOO AUNT KIM

Maria said...

Heidi~
Great post! Don't ya just love those kind of days when everything just "feels"
right...sorta like knowing that we are capable of keeping all our balls in the air. We R.O.C.K...lol.
I love seeing your pictures of life in Florida. Up here, we don't have fairs until August; it's April & we're still in winter coats;
our skies are grey/white; swimming is, like, months away..UGH! Sun? What is sun?
That's how it feels most days but there's still so much to enjoy in every single day. I love that you share a glimpse of your days with those of us you've never met..yet (I LOVE THAT)!! Something to look forward to. Enjoy that beautiful Spring weather.

ayshamartin said...

This post made me smile ... thanks :)

Anonymous said...

i miss them so much..i cant stop wathching that video.

Kristine said...

I've been having those "everything feels right" weekends lately and I am loving it and eating it up! Spring and all it has to offer...it just puts us in our happy places. Priceless!
Your kids are too cute as always...and Peyton's dance moves are sweet!
xo
Kris

Anna Ruth said...

Love the post! The video is just precious. Spending time with family and friends always brings me to a happy place.

Sian said...

So very true. This post inspires me!

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