11 years & the tooth fairy!

i look back on my wedding photos and for the first time ever, they finally look really, really old. you know what i mean. it's like when you discover an old wedding album of your mother's or your grandmothers and you touch each page gingerly and you imagine what it must have been like to think it was really cool to wear your hair like that or wear a dress of that style.

well, my photos have the 'feel' now. i wonder what peyton will think when she looks at my album? with eyes of someone with an opinion on what a wedding should be or look like. now, when she cracks open our album she says things like, "mommy, you look so different," or "you are a princess in these pictures," or "mommy, you had a party and i wasn't there."

(insert sad face followed by pouting and the 100Th explanation that she wasn't born yet)

"well, if i was born then, would i be at your wedding?"

"yes, honey. of course you would be. you would have dressed up like a princess just like mommy!"

the reason i even picked up my wedding album was because it was mine and jeff's eleven year wedding anniversary last week. i can't even believe that is possible, but it is and add two little kids to the mix and we are officially a little family of our own. darwish powers unite!

i've gotta say...i love that feeling. the feeling of being a grown-up and having our own little way of life. our own traditions and routines. our way of doing things, right or wrong, the little things that make us 'darwish-party of 4!'

happy anniversary, jeff! i love you.

i love our beautifully unique, imperfect, and lovely life together. i love that we keep 'growing up' together and in a lot of ways still learn new pieces of one another.

(j and i wanted to replicate this photo of my mom and dad at their wedding in 1977! i just love this photo of the two of them)

***

guess who stopped in for another visit?

the tooth fairy (daddy), left a note that mommy didn't know about until after peyton discovered it under her pillow. it said something like this:

peyton, congrats on losing your second tooth. i am so proud of you for not crying...you are such a big girl. i just wanted to say, next time you have loose tooth and it feels ready to come out-daddy's are the best people to pull them out! they know how to do it just right and it won't even hurt.

again, i am so proud of you. i love you.

xoxo,

the tooth fairy.

ahem. daddy thinks it's some rite of passage of being 'the daddy' to pull out any and all wiggling teeth in this house (please note: i disagree). i had to laugh last night when, again, peyton came to us with her tooth in her hand and proud smile on her face. i looked up at jeff and it between the hoorays and hugs, he was mouthing to me...

"i didn't get to pull it out...again. i'm supposed to get to pull it out."

ha. ha. ha.

anyway, it all went well again and i'm pretty sure peyton is getting used to this whole money under her pillow thing. although, she said she made a wish on a wishing star last night that the TF would bring her a baby. so, this morning, she kept looking around the house, the closet, her drawers, until finally she gave up on that and focused in on the fairy dust. less fairy dust than before per her request, but dust just the same.

then, she woke her brother up to share the news. quite honestly, i think he's tired of being so supportive of this tooth fairy thing. after all, he's not getting any under-the-pillow-treats, but he's still going strong and with no complaints...yet.

i love you so much, peyton mae. you are my little sweet girl and i am so proud of you and the little girl that you are.

you have such a sweet and caring heart.

xoxo

***

our little guy woke up on the sick side today. our sweet little baby boy. he was sad at first, but after daddy left...he and i just cuddled and watched tv for a while. he asked me to scratch his back and lay down with him and it felt so good to turn off the responsibilities and to do lists and just make him feel better. no better excuse to play zingo four times in the middle of the day.

sick cuddles is what i call it. is that weird? maybe, but i kinda look forward to these days.

and then, p kinder teacher called and said peyton wasn't feeling well. i nearly tripped over my words as i pushed out, "i'll be right there. on my way."

i was there in record time and as i walked into the office, i saw her sad little face behind the big desk. she was holding her teacher's hand and i couldn't get to her fast enough. i didn't understand why that moment felt so important for me? why i needed to be there as soon as i could possibly find my keys and get becks in the car? why i felt such a wave of emotion at seeing her face...after all, i could see instantly that she was fine. i think it was more of a i-miss-my-mommy sickness than anything else (that and it was hot outside and she didn't wanted to go to P.E. and 'get hot and feel worse'-i heard this later).

i think it is because i have never really been away from her when she's not felt well. rather, she's never been in the care of someone other family for such long periods time and when she has become sick. i guess a part of me wanted her to know that,

hey, i'm still here, baby. whenever you need me, big or small...mommy's here.

it's funny how we grow emotionally. you don't always know what will trigger a reflective moment, a moment in time that may open the door to their little hearts or minds. their concerns, maybe their fears. my concerns, my fears.

it was my need to let her know i was there when she needed me.

here i go again on one my deep tangents on motherhood and how our roles keep changing and how it takes some getting used to. it is amazing and it sucks all rolled into one big fat cheesy burrito.

***

last week, beckham and i made bran muffins! they were soooo good. could have been better had i had molasses in the house or had thought to use honey, but this was a spur of the moment activity and it was fun and delish.

oat bran muffins with applesauce

1/2 cup light brown sugar, lightly packed

1 1/2 cups of all natural oat bran

1 1/2 cup of all-purpose four

1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 1/2 teaspoon baking soda

2 large room temperature eggs

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup of chilled applesauce

5 tablespoons unsalted room temp, butter

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (optional)

teaspoon vanilla

1 mashed up over-ripe banana (because i had it in the house, but i loved the favor)

preheat oven to 400 degrees

line muffin cups with liners

combine the bran and applesauce in a bowl and let it sit.

in another bowl, mix together the dry ingredients with a wooden spoon.

in a third bowl, cream together the butter, sugar, vanilla until fluffy...about three minutes with a hand blender.

then, add the eggs slowly. then, add the bran/applesauce mixture.

with a mixer set to a low setting, add the dry ingredients to the batter, be gentle. do not over mix the batter. finally, fold in the mash banana. ( i think you could add one additional banana if you have one.

spoon batter into cups, let them sit ten minutes, and then pop them into the oven. bake for 15-20 minutes or until they are golden brown.

***note, i over baked mine...not fun! i would set the timer for 15 minutes and check for doneness.

****also note: i'm not a professional baker, so if the steps seem off, they may be, but this is what worked for me:) i welcome any baking suggestions that is for sure!

beckman LOVED these and they are healthy! he asked if i would pack all of them in his lunch box!

***

and from a mama that does know how to bake...

this is just a sneak peek of the party she threw for her babies, sophie and griffin, peyton and beckham's cousins.

that is for the next post which i will do in a couple of days.

and as promised, i dug up the link for my photog Q&A that may answer some of the emails i am getting. i don't mind answering questions, so keep them coming if you think i could help, but this is easier since i already answered these.

i will be adding this as a tab next to the other two tabs under the header, but until then...

HDP Photography Q & A

dinner idea:

i know it's fall, but i had a ton of peppers left over and i had to use them up, so i used some to make

grilled brats on grilled potato hot dog roll, covered in peppers and onions that i sauteed with 1 tablespoon of olive oil and one of salted butter (i didn't say it was healthy).

i served it up with boiled corn on the cob. easy, cheap, and it may inspire a dinner one night when your mind draws a blank:)

g'night.

xoxoxo