Friday, February 24, 2012

at the end of the day, it's all about gratitude.

the last few weeks have been filled with survival mode tactics in order to keep myself moving forward and doing the things i want to do, have to do, and need to do. being pregnant was exciting for the first months of my pregnancy, but doing what we women do everyday... run a household, a family, and my own business took top billing. still, when i go to sleep at night, i feel grateful for every little bit of the day.

i told myself that after christmas i would relax and bask in the glow of a new baby coming. i would wash and fold miniture blankets, booties, and onesies. i would conceptualize design plans for the new nursery and then attack and have everything done and ready for the arrival no later than two weeks prior to due date.

i had grand dreams of spending every spare moment i had to my little ones. peyton and beckham have been the two loves of my life for so long, that i wanted to show them, prove to them...you both will always be my babies. i'll love you forever and ever and nobody will ever take away the special memories or bonds we have made together. i thought we'd take weekly picnics to the beach, host a lemonade stand, go on an overnight trip to a hotel just for the fun of it.

i've just wanted to soak in every little moment of alone time that i can with them.


cover their little faces with kisses. possibly award myself with a 'medal' for the most times somebody can say i like you, i love you, you make me happy, i'm so lucky to be your mommy!


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we've doing the cuddle and kisses part of that grand plan, but the truth is we haven't done a whole lot of outtings or special trips. i wanted to, but it just didn't happen.


mamas been out of commission.


life happened and feeling exhausted has kind of taken over my life at the moment. i'm like the happiest tired person i know. floating on cloud and dreaming of our new family while laying down every twenty minutes for a few before getting up to do something that needs to be done before sitting down again to rest.


and while we have done some baby preparations...washing and folding clothes, decorating a nursery as much as i can without knowing the gender of this one, and taking little game and walk breaks with peyton and becks...we've done less than i wanted to and now the time has just about come to welcome a new one to the darwish clan!


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feeling a bit badly about not doing as much has given me the much needed push to do more the last week or so...that or a surge of energy has finally come my way...i'll take it thank you very much!

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and although we squeeze in games of chutes and ladders or a game of memory only some of the time, this mama does not fall short in the giving love department. i hope these kids have felt how much especially these last 9 months...because quite frankly in so many other arenas i've plain sucked. i admit it. i'm holding up my flag. but in loving these babies...not so much. loving...well loving is easy and well, i think i'll let all the other stuff go!

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(photos taken at naples botanical gardens last month with my point and shoot)



we have crammed so much celebration, work and love into the last few months and while i have failed at sharing most of it, however; my friend has not...so i'll poach from her stash of photos...
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there were hanging flowers, twinkling candles, and sweet friends everywhere i looked. it was a magical evening, one i will never forget...ever.

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Oh, and homemade pizza by the fabulous wylie! thank you, wylie xoxo


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a long overdue thank you to my best friend, kelle for putting your creative mind in overdrive and generous spirit to work to throw me perhaps the most beautiful and touching baby celebration i could never even have hoped for. it was full of love, cheer, good noshes, clinking wine glasses, and messages to baby on quilted baby bunting...thank you, bells. i love you so much. i can't wait to return the favor one of these days!

***


feeling grateful for the friends i have that have celebrated this baby like nobody's business. the calls, the- how are you feeling texts?, the cards, the emails...it's like everyday somebody is telling me how happy they are for us and i feel overwhelmed with the amount of love and support we have had around us.

i'm feeling the most toward my peyton and beckham. they are like air to me. i simply adore these two little people and like any decent parent, i want them to grow up to be the best and happiest they can be and trying to model the this way of life feels like a full-time job sometimes, one that i am not the best at every single day...
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...i hope all they really need is our love...and the best that we can do for them, teaching them and modeling what we think are the really important parts of life that they need to know...kindness, generosity, contentment, friendship, gratiude for the smallest little things.

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we spent an evening together, just the three of us. we were full of sand in places that shouldn't have sand in them, but it was worth every granule. it had been a super hot day but as the sun set, the temperature went down and the wind spiked up a bit...just enough to cool us off from a long hot day!

the next day we met peyton at school for lunch. she always requests micky d's on these days and sometimes i say no, but this day i said. yes! i felt like i was feeding my kid some kind of poisonous substance, but hey...all is moderation, right? thats my story.

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beckham cries each time we leave, "I want to be in KINDEEEERRRRRRGARTEN too!!!!" so this photos was obviously was taken prior to the, "we need to leave in ten minute speech!"

so we went home and made cookies
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not these, rather chocolate chip oatmeal with flaxseed. i subbed the raisins for ghiradelli semi sweets and i used old-fashioned oat...the best kind!
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then, we jammied up for an early night and ate cookies and watched funniest home videos...
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sometimes, i worry about how our lives will be changing will effect these two little ones. it's just been the two of them for so long.
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they do so much together...this includes a lot of fighting, but mostly they have formed this bond together. one that comes from living together...depending upon one another to do certain things. they each have their own roles. the boss and the subordinate. the boy and the girl. the sweet and thoughtful to the selfish and irritable. they each take turns sharing these roles and regardless of how the apples on any given day...these two love each other.

they feel safe together. innately, they are protective of one another and so when push comes to shove..."BE NICE TO MY SISTER!" (often told to the little neighbor boy who tackles our little guy a tad too roughly while playing football)

"Mama, can we buy a treat for beckham too?"

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i love that it's always been just...peyton and beckham and i wonder how Tagalong will fit in. i worry about it sometimes knowing that this baby will bring so much joy and wonder into our lives, but on the flip side i know there will be challenges. it's normal and i fully expect it.

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peyton making her valentine box.

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it's been the four of us for so long...
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we know how to do this
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we are a foursome and turning into a family of five is surreal, somewhat scary, and... amazing.
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and i'm feeling grateful for all of the time we've been able to spend together. making memories and sharing space. it feels amazing to be able to let another little body into our world, our space, our lives!

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we've been preparing as a family for our new arrival. there is a buzz in the house, not always spoken, but we know something big is about to happen.

'cause their ain't nothin' more life changing than adding a person to one's family. nuttin' honey.

we're nesting together....
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cleaning.

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restoring.

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old dresser bought for a hundred bucks. jeff painted like three base coats, i then waxed the corners where i wanted it look distressed, and then sanded it down in other areas to give it the 'old' effect. i had to paint the panels twice bc the first coat i HATED the color of. after pic shows mismatched knobs i splurged on from anthro. if i have a boy, i'll have to return the flower knobs, but i couldn't resist buying them when i was in the store.

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creating.
took a piece of pegboard, painted a beautiful shade of blue and then added molding that i, yes, i faux painted myself. i'm pretty proud of it! most of all, it gave me a full cabinet worth of extra space in my kitchen which i needed so badly. jeff, you rock for making so many things that tickle my fancy. you have done so much. xo

the nursery doesn't look like much here, but it's a work in progress...it looks beautiful right now. more photos to come.

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jenn and i went antiquing, so we have lots of goodies to work on now
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we had so much fun in arcadia, florida...it was an amazing day of rummaging through old and forgotten treasures. of course, we laughed non-stop and we finished it off with a well-deserved rustic dinner.

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jenn is like a source of never ending inspiration...and she crazy like me! xo

***
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kelle, rebecca and i found some golden light in a place that probs looks a lot like heaven. kelle found this orange grove last year and it delivered for my first trip. it smells like an array of citrus freshness. rows and rows of trees and perfect orbs of orange love.

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we grabbed our buckets and went to work at filling them up.
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we explored...

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we made out like bandits...
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so, i made chicken stir fry with the oranges and i will include a recipe with the next post, because sister is having a heat stroke right now while typing these words so i need to power down asap;)

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so, i am thinking that i may be having a baby this week! yes, i think i am! i LOVE saying that. so, i will be posting again before i deliver our little bundle of love...or so i hope so because i want to savor every last moment of this pregnancy and this bump.

being and feeling grateful is a gift that i try not to take for granted. for even when things feel like they are falling apart at. the. seams. there is always something to be grateful for. health of my kids always tops the list. so even when i'm thinking life sucks today...i get into bed and begin to have my little convo with God and by word one...i'm feeling good. grateful. lucky.

so, goodnight for now. enjoy the oscars! for i am attending a pajamma glamma party and i have to say, emma stones's dress... ahhhhhhmaaaaaaaaazzzzingly stunning!
xoxoxoxo

my favorite december iphone photos
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