Saturday, February 26, 2011

happiness and oprah.

i was nine when i started watching oprah. i remember that because that was when i got my first job...my very own paper route. when the boss at the detroit news called me a few days after my grandpa polleti took me to apply, he called...during oprah. i remember wanting that job so badly, i prayed each night asking god to get it for me. oh, how i wanted that job. BUT, he called during oprah and he needed me THAT day because they just lost the paperboy who used to do it. damn.

i remember wanting to lie to him. i wanted to tell him i was babysitting for my brother that day, but that i would LOVE to begin the route the next day. my mind was racing, but before i could invent a juicy little story that would cement my at-the-time small-butt-on-the-couch 'with oprah'...the paper boss reeled me in with...
"you get to deliver on your own street!" croissant street. so i began my job and missed the rest of oprah and that memory has stayed with me.

in my little group of girlfriends, the ones i grew up with in michigan, i am the oprah freak. like, i love her as so many other millions of people do...and what's not to love? seriously. she's an amazing woman who inspires others to be better...just by being herself. girlfriend's been through a lot, but she worked hard and rose to the top of her game.

i simply love her story. her heart. her compassion. her generosity. her spirit. she's real.

on many a girl's night, i have been known to come to oprah's defense in late-night convos where opinions are welcome and where debates quickly ensue. those are the best nights, aren't they?!

well, most of you know that this is oprah's 25th and last year on air. i hate that. so, like any good friendly 'stalker' i am sure to DVR & watch every single show because i don't want to miss one moment.

and while i'm not really into oprah moving on with her life (selfishly, i want her to stay) this is, to me, oprah's best season yet because it feels like a celebration of life. her life and other's lives. our lives. i feel it and i like it and it makes me excited for the new possibilities ahead for oprah.

the other day, i received a text from a friend who must have just watched an emotional oprah show. the text read...
i just watched oprah. i never do. she just sent 600 people to australia. is she always that crazy? are you going to jump off the ambassador bridge when her show ends?

i laughed and then ran like the wind to play the show.

that text made me think about things that make us...us. in a group of old friends or in a family, we all have our roles whether we realize it or not. we don't always know what others really think of us or how they would describe us to someone else but i am sure it happens. the young me would feel insecure about that, but not so much today. this is what i adore about being 30-anything...you just become who you were meant to be. still evolving and learning, yes!...but i believe thats the fun part even though it comes with it's highs and lows.

obviously, me loving oprah isn't some monumental piece of intel about myself but it is a piece of me and all of this made me wonder what other things are obvious about myself? you know, what are the things that i give off unconsciously...my likes, dislikes. which arguments do i defend most often? am i for the underdog or top dog? how i react to any given situation? would my oldest friends and family know?

in my case, i wear my heart on my sleeve so what you see is pretty much what you get. but on a deeper more complex level we all have our 'stuff' but this is not what i am talking about here tonight. i'm just saying, that we all have a story but what is on the cover of the book called Heidi Darwish. what do people see?

it's interesting to think about what we out out into the world and on a deeper level...is their a direct correlation between what we put out and what we receive? hmmm.

wow, i am so...weird tonight! i think i like it. see what oprah does to us? she makes us think!!

***

on another note, the other day i was watching oprah and she was talking to goldie hawn about what makes people happy and since i chase happiness around like it's an olympic sport (and this is not to imply that i am always blissfully happy.), i had to watch. i love to hear what makes other people happy because it inspires new ideas for me to be happier and in turn helps me find all the happiness in my own life because sometimes i just plain forget how lucky and blessed we really are.

so this is what i remember from that show:

silence and sex will make you happier! hmmmm. sounds simple, huh?

i also learned that 50% of our own happiness is genetic, while 40% of our happiness can be learned. this really surprised me and it got me thinking that jeff and i hold a lot of power in our hands in regards to the happiness of our children. it's a wonderful gift and daunting at the same time. so here a few pointers...

*so i am going to try to give myself ten minutes of COMPLETE silence each day as it is supposed to boost happiness and change perspective. i think this is harder to do than it seems because we are all so busy, but we so deserve it and so do the people around us.

*having more sex (or buy a puppy!) is another way because it produces a hormone called oxytocin and this causes a calming/warm effect over our bodies. oxytocin is the same hormone that is produced when we see a new baby or puppy.

*and the age old question was asked if children make people happier? the answer was a shock to me.
people responded with yes (which i totally expected), but happiest when the children turn 18 and move out!!!??? i thought that was funny.

wth? i never want my kids to move out ;) so let's ignore that portion of the answer and just go with YES! children make people happier, but i so get what they were saying. kids are are a lot of work when they are young and the big payoff seems to be when they are more independent.

oh yeah, apparently grandparents are buckets of daisies and rainbows when they are with their grandchildren!
i love it. can't wait, but i can. you know what i mean!

end of long ass tangent.

another thing that makes me really happy...
spending time with this little guy!
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we had a date!
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and when chrissy was here, we found an old train museum that i never knew existed even though i used to pass it daily on my way to work...
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and it rocked!
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it is run by a group of men that were so proud to show off these treasures. they had rows and rows of vintage lionel trains. it was really cool. most of these older guys used to work with real trains in some capacity or another. i loved hearing their stories and i could see the pride in their faces when they spoke. i think these guys are all best friends...and i think they all hang out and drink old manhattens and talk richly of their past with one another. i am happy these guys have each other because they were lovely and they took care of my boy.

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my loves.

i miss his baby-ness soooooooo much. so so so much. where did that baby go?
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today, he is all boy and he is learning to ice skate and he calls me...dude and then waits for a response so he can crack up.

when he hears any kind of music, he dances like nobody is watching!

when we enter the house, he jumps up and down, laughing and smiling like he hasn't seen us in year.

he loves to cook and play hockey. he adores with a passion his big sister, daddy , and mama. he laughs when he speaks and he is kind and good and i just can't get enough.

i love this boy and his sister.

***
lots of love your way. xoxo

Saturday, February 19, 2011

killer birds and family waffles!!!

i am sitting in the depths of technological despair...i think. i'm trying to claw my way to the top of this mountain of techno 'bliss.'

my mouse and keyboard went haywire and stopped communicating with my mac. then, my printer broke up with my computer so i was unable to do any printing and i really needed to some printing.

finally, and this is a BIG finally...
my beloved camera/third child went into a coma...during a shoot with my kids for love day and on top of all of that i am nervous as all get out to do some major hard drive moving/backing up (soooo important).

so, with all that going on, i am happy to report that my mac has made up with my mouse and keyboard. all it took was a dozen purple tulips and a box of chocolate truffles. finally, i feel like i have my hands back and can be well on my way to my kind of normal.

so without a camera for the first time in a long time...i am relishing in the freedom of a little camera vacation. i adore my camera and all of the art i create with it; all the memories that i freeze with it; captured magic.

i will physically run hurdles over something that is in fact not a hurdle in order to get to my camera in time to catch a moment. i know we all do this from time to time, but it has become a habit of mine to get it in my camera.

only time will tell when i will print that photo on actual photo paper, but i have it. i can breath.

over time this mindset has settled down a bit. between the demands i create for my own family memories and the captured moments of a client...i have learned to not be a slave to my camera. however, it is my passion.

and without the click of my shutter, i use my mind instead to remember, linger, and enjoy. i live more moments instead of creating memories of those moments.

with that said, i want my baby back...yesterday!

***
well, good thing i am behind in blogging my photos because i have many from the last week or so that i haven't posted yet.

happy valentine's day, people!!! a little late but just as sweet i assure you. in fact, my little guy has told at least one time a day since the real thing. that boy loves his mama and his mama, well just can't get enough. i can't.
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peyton wanted to make paper hearts and hang them from the ceiling. it was all her idea and her idea was well planned out, though not well executed.

"mommy, how about we cut out hearts from paper and i tie a string on it and we hang them all over the kitchen ceiling. they will hang down and hit daddy in the head. what do you think? is that a good plan?"

well, i got really into and immediately pulled out colored construction paper. mini pairs of scissors and ribbon. we started when peyton was at school. we wanted to surprise her with a few hanging hearts. i traced the heart and beckham HAD to cut the heart.

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he then proceeded to stick spiderman stickers all over them. probably not what peyton had in mind for her heavenly hearts that would bop daddy in the head, but well, that's what she got.

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beckham worked hard. i would trace, then run around preparing lunch when beckham seemed to have it down and wanted none of my help.

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ten minutes later...i heard a scream and saw my little guy go running by me clutching his hand. i ran to get him all the while picturing the massacre of my little man's finger all because his mother thought it was okay it let him cut out paper hearts for his sister on vday.

i could see the headlines now:
Bad Mother Crushes Sweet Boy's Golfing Dreams while failing to protect him during craft time at home.
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of course, he was perfectly fine after a few kisses and a fruit roll-up but he vowed to never EVER again cut with scissors. never again.
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and peyton wasn't impressed with her original plans either...so we scrapped it.

but the boys did take us girls out for dinner at pf changs (where beckham got to pay the server with a hundred dollar bill...which seemed to be the highlight).

then, we went to target as requested by peyton. item she asked daddy to buy for her...
a justin bieber cd.

the next day, jeff informed me that this single request and purchase single handedly put our baby girl on the fast track to teenage-dom. well, after one morning of nonstop bieber music...she has forgotten about the cd. mama likes.
***

last week peyton lost her other top tooth and since we are betting kind of family...GUILTY:
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we all lost as she lost the tooth on a thursday! (and...we really do not have an actual family movie night. i made that part up as j and i were trying to think of an appropriate payout for a child that may win the first family bet!)
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the next morning, we celebrated with some in-house jump roping!
and peyton became queen of her castle for the morning...
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please note the photos of miss thing herself posing in front of the bathroom mirror. smiles and all. it was the sweetest thing. her and that new smile of hers. her toothless grin...it melts me. it really does.

and we baked with marley...
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chrissy, thanks for snapping this picture. i love it! xo

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***
and right around when i thought i couldn't be having any more fun with my friend and her baby...
my sister, heather decided to surprise us with a quick visit. heather, chrissy, and i have been friends forever so i knew it would be a blast as we have limited boundaries and too much info on one another to not have a good time on inside jokes alone...at the very least.

we went to the beach on a grey, kinda gloomy, kinda perfect day...
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we brought subs for a picnic on the beach and well, i was pretty much attacked by a swarm of seagulls as i was trying to spilt my sub with the kids. heather and chrissy started screaming at once and i looked up enough to see wildly flapping wings in my face so close that i could feel the movement of the air on my face.

i screamed and threw the whole sub AWAY from me and that was the end of our lunch. but, we had fun...
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peyton's new frog move.
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my sister the rockstar!

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just as i was basking in a long walk down the beach collecting only black and white shells (having a mission makes it more fun), i was feeling all cool and content. yeah, i am showing heather and chrissy the way we live...visiting the beach for some invigorating, peaceful, and organic fun. i was feeling in touch with my spiritual side, my insides were turning all warm and fuzzy and i fully expected heather to answer this question with a different answer.

me: heather, are you loving it out here? isn't it beautiful? don't you love this kind of thing.

warning: total salty-air-breeze buzz kill coming!

heather: (pausing before she answers. then a shy smile) heidi, this is great and all but whenever you are ready to go, i'm ready. (me: mouth agape/shock) i am a total city girl, heidi. you know that. don't get me wrong, i love to hear the ocean but i'm not really all about this sand on my feet. it grosses me out. doesn't it gross you out?

heather laughing now and me laughing back...
"heather, i can not believe how different we are. seriously, it amazes me. would a bottle of wine help?"

heather: no. let's go, and why are you collecting black and white shells...you should collect all black and then one white.

i love her. she makes me laugh really hard.
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***
later that night, i had a few friends over to hang...
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i put kelle on lights and she made a girl proud...
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as she and i have the EXACT same brain when it comes to many things but especially tiny lights and good girlfriend ambiance. {movie: Easy A}
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we noshed on good food and then you tubed funny commercials for much of the night.

(i will be posting the menu and all of the recipes from girl night on my next post!)

i will post one quick little lunch idea. it is fast and healthy and delish...

quiznos has a sub called Turkey Bacon Quacamole. it's fab but full of calories, so this my version.

Turkey Avocado Wrap

just take a whole or multi-grain sandwich wrap (or tortilla which is what i had on hand...it was really good) and add your favorite turkey, thin sliced. next add some fresh arugula lettuce and some avocado slices. you can squeeze a bit of lime if you wish. add some salt and pepper and one slice of bacon (i used the pre-cooked bacon). roll it up and you have a really good and filling sandwich.

i wrapped ours in wax paper and took it to the zoo. this time we weren't attacked by any flying creatures.
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***we had to say goodbye to friends, but first i hosted a sunday brunch at my house because it was filled with people and noises and i was in heaven...
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my new fave: homemade waffles hot off the griddle with sliced bananas and maple syrup on top. HEAVENLY. try it.

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***
feeling lucky and grateful for all the fun and quality time we have had with people we love and especially the little people in my life...my little valentine's peyton and beckham!

**and to all of my friends huddled in the colder areas of the world...song by Derby, If Ever There's A Reason

If ever there’s a reason
to be swept up in the season
of the fallen leaves
And if the days grew shorter
And the darkness drew it’s order...
...from the autumn grey...
If ever there’s a need to watch
the afternoon just roll into
the evening sky...
find comfort in the finer things
That keep you close that keep you safe
Within this room.

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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

marinating in fun and friendship!

feels soooooooooo good to be sitting here. dedicating a couple hours to doing what i love. i'm kinda, a little ignoring the little guy in the other room. every few minutes i hear, "MOMMMMMMMMMY. i need some help, PLEEEEEEZE!!!!"

he's making a valentine gift for his sister! "can i make a present for peyton, mama?" then, he proceeded to go through box after box until he found one of those makit and bakit sun catching kits i had left over from a birthday party. he's proud and it cost me like one buck at michaels! we will wrap it in 20 sheets of tissue paper and presto...we will have one happy little guy and pressie for baby girl!

i know, i know...i kind of suck at organizing my time, but i am trying...that is for sure.

hey, you wanna see something ridiculous?

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we are doing some work in the kitchen right now, so aside from the exposed drywall...
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i had a work day where, clearly, i made it my day's mission NOT to pick up one thing in the kitchen...
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i don't know how or why my kitchen resembled grey gardens (so intrigued by that story though!), but it did and on top of all that...a friend came by and wanted to see the work in the kitchen. i told her that i could rock out a clean up in twenty minutes. we call that a twenty minute shake-down around these parts.

instructions are simple actually:
1. set the microwave time for twenty mins.
2. put on some cleaning house music, up the volume.
3. give the kids a job to do too.
4. light some candles.
5. start running...

twenty mins later:
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polished and smelling like gardenias! i thought i had more photographic proof, but afterward peyton 'rescued' a turtle that was walking in the middle of our street in the front yard, so we all bolted outside so mommy could show her i-can-do-anything skills and picked up the turtle (with very sharp claws) and found a new place for it in the lake next to us. yes, my mommy cape was flying high that afternoon. the kids clapped...i'm just sayin'!!!

***
some time later that week, i was trying to make a menu for a girls' night that i was hosting at my abode, but because i had a week to think about it, i came up with nada. give me a week, i can't think. give me five minutes...i can rock anything out. procrastination is my friend. we get along like peas and carrots.
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while i was twiddling my thumbs and trying not to doodle, (because if i start doodling...it's all over from there. there is something about making trees and love bugs that i find therapeutic. it's weird and a waste of time, so i try not to start) peyton made a 'festible' in our side yard...
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"i'm the teacher, mama!"
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a couple of little neighbors saw the set-up and ran right over to join the fun!

and speaking of fun, if we had one of those fun-o-meters, i am pretty sure that the little red indicator stick would have moved left through fun, funnier, and explosive kind of fun. mixed in with lots of work and obligations...we have found tidbits of time and have been lucky enough to have friends fly in from the blizzards of michigan to help us enjoy our florida winter!

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sangria on the beach in january. check!

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we took our fabulous and majorly fun friends to my favorite beach spot and sunday getaway! isle of capri! i'll never tire of it's quaint little sandy beach. jenn, actually requested that we go there. i knew i loved that girl!!!
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if i didn't admire the blue and golden sky twenty times, i didn't do it once. it was STUNNING! the clouds looked like cushions beckoning each one of us to treat it as a hammock in heaven.
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sea pencils, shells, birds, nature...
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i thought it might rain, but it didn't and the feeling the gritty sand beneath my feet is to me the sign we are on vacation. a one day vacation!
***

we are waiting for the tooth fairy again...
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(update: tooth gone! after much waiting, peyton is now asking 'shanta' for her two front teeth~we have a lisp folks...and it's really frickin' cute!)
***

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more friends!!! my oldest and one of the best...my friend chrissy and her super sweet daughter, marley are here with us this week!

chrissy and i have literally grown-up together. our mom's were buds back in the day. chrissy, my sister and i have been friends since we were three!!! special kind of friendship for sure! i'm pretty sure i remember some potty training going on at her house...as in me potty training. i'm not sure how i remember that.

anyway, now chrissy has a little one of her own and we are pretty much in love with her...
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***hi, grandma busia!!! i miss you.

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we played it up with park visits and car rides in the front yard! please note: jeff's michael jackson glove. yes, his very own dancing glove! that pretty much sums up chrissy laughing her booty off!

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chrissy without the glove. jeff wouldn't let her have it. he's possessive of it to say the least;)

ever see a kid on rollerblades swinging?

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photo by beckham!

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jeff scaring the pants off of these poor kids...look closely, you will see his hurdling legs in the air above the kids heads!

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and i cooked...
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to make my really good meatballs you'll need a few things, but mostly a bowl, good music, and your drink of choice. mine, red wine...but i'm tellin' ya, it makes my dinner experience better. not alcohol, but just anything you like to drink or have to make you relax and enjoy the cooking process. like lit candles!


lovely meatballs!
a pound of ground beef (i used ground round)
a pound or less of ground pork
1 cup of seasoned breadcrumbs
2 eggs
1/2 cup gruyere cheese, freshly grated
1/2 cup romano cheese, freshly grated is better but store bought will do.
a bunch of flat-leaf/italian parsley, chopped
3 cloves garlic finely chopped
teaspoon kosher salt or to taste
teaspoon ground pepper
flour (optional)

first, whisk the eggs in a separate bowl. then, place all ingredients including the eggs in a large mixing bowl. use your hands to mix very well all the ingredients together. then, form the mixture into meatballs about 1 1/2 inch in size. i think i made about 25 meatballs!

then, roll each one in a light dusting of flour. i rolled about ten at once.

in a skillet, put enough olive in the pan to cover the bottom. heat the oil and then put meatballs in the oil and brown them on all sides on med to low heat until cooked inside.

place the meatballs on a paper towel to drain excess oil.

enjoy!

i served mine with angel hair pasta and my bolognese sauce. it was fab and the kids loved it!


and for dessert:
strawberries and canoli cream

a bunch of strawberries, cleaned with tops cut off
a small container of whipping cream
1/2 cup ricotta cheese
cinnamon
sugar
vanilla

i didn't put portions because, i kind of throw this all in a super cold metal bowl.
first, i make the whipped cream by whipping together a small container of heavy whipping cream, a teaspoon of vanilla, and a few tablespoons of of sugar and a dash of cinnamon. taste it as you go and see if you need to add more sugar. i used to use powdered sugar, but the last few times i have made it, i have used regular old sugar. you can choose.

whip until the cream forms stiff peaks...until it looks like whipped cream. stir the ricotta really well and then fold it into the whipped cream. done. keep in the fridge until you are ready to eat it. leftovers will last until the next day!

serve with your fave berries! or use graham crackers to scoop cream...yum!
***

xoxoxoxo
make a pot of pasta, light a candle, and do something you love right now even it is just for two minutes.
i'm off to enjoy a naples sunset at the beach with my little toothless wonder and handsome boy, then, it's leftover night!